Why They Invented Twitter

(via Skippy)

Why I Wish Tiwtter Had Never Been Invented

Because it provides an outlet for tweet wars with Sarah Palin, who is unable to put even 140 characters together into a coherent thought. The problem is that out there in Medialand, they're going to paint Palin's inarticulateness as "charming", just as they did George W. Bush. And you see where THAT got us.

Dear Big Business: Twitter Will Bury You

Last week I attended a conference on how to use social media effectively in the industry in which I work. It was actually sort of fun -- a throwback to the kind of webby-stuff I used to do, even though I kept having this nagging sense that what it was about was teaching corporations how to astroturf more effectively. But most of the attendees were either people like me, who had little to do with PR, or agencies that do PR for large corporations. Very few PR people from actual industry were there.

Which is how stuff like the Twitter feed BPGlobalPR happens.

This feed is so much in the public consciousness that in this room full of corporatist shills, this was the poster child for how Twitter can bite you if you don't snag every possible name that could represent your company.

BP: Poster child at business conferences for how NOT to do messaging.

I expect there to be a BP Public Relations book contract any minute, followed by a TV series starring William Shatner...whom I suspect will be available, since Shit My Dad Says looks like it's going to be a train wreck.

Good Morning Geniuses, or Shit Marc Maron Says

More of the collected Twittered unintentional verse of Marc Maron:

I don't believe in God
but I believe vitamins work.
I think its because I can see them
and put then in my mouth.
I understand Catholicism.

Okay, okay.
This compulsive eating of ice cream before bed
has to stop.
I mean WTF.
I mean, am I some kind of lonely cat lady
with an eating disorder?

Shit My Dad Says: The Collected Verse of Justin's Dad

From Hoffmania we found out about Justin, whose Twitter profile reads: "I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says".

Marc Maron isn't the only Twitter poet around:

Don't touch the bacon,
it's not done yet.
You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..
what ever it is you do.
I guess nothing.

Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night.
Some are for you, some are for me,
but more are for me.
Remember that.
More. Me.

Your brother brought his baby over this morning.
He told me it could stand.
It couldn't stand for shit.
Just sat there.
Big let down.

The dog is not bored,
it's a fucking dog.
It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube.
He's a god damned dog.

Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone?
People want to talk to me, call again.
If i want to talk to you, I'll answer.

I think Justin's dad deserves to go viral.