You're very welcome.

The other baffling mystery is why the Official Jewish Cuisine of Christmas Eve is Indian. (At least I'm trying to make it so.)

Another reason to love internet memes

Nothing will ever beat I Am Aware of All Internet Traditions as far as I'm concerned, but this is all kinds of win.

And you think YOU'RE living in an existential hell

Imagine the plight of Raj Patel, who thought he was just appearing on The Colbert Report to hawk his new book about the financial crisis. But a funny thing happened on the way to the New York Times Bestseller list:

I can sort of understand worshipping Patel. After all, he's obviously brilliant, and he's gorgeous, and he's passionate about his work. But these days, Raj Patel, who just wants to be an activist and author, finds himself besieged by people who refuse to accept his denial that he's the messiah:

What started as an oddity kept snowballing until suddenly, in the middle of his book tour and awaiting the arrival of his first child, Patel was inundated by questions, messages of support and even threats. The influx was so heavy, in fact, that he put up a statement on his website referencing Monty Python's Life of Brian and categorically stating that he was not Maitreya.

Instead of settling the issue, however, his denial merely fanned the flames for some believers. In a twist ripped straight from the script of the comedy classic, they said that this disavowal, too, had been prophesied. It seemed like there was nothing to convince them.

"It's the kind of paradox that's inescapable," he said, with a grim humour. "There's very little chance or point trying to dig out of it."

There are many elements of his life that tick the prophetic checklist of his worshippers: a flight from India to the UK as a child, growing up in London, a slight stutter, and appearances on TV. But it is his work that puts him most directly in the frame and causes him the most anguish – the very things the followers of Share believe will indicate that their new messiah has arrived.

Patel's career – spent at Oxford, LSE, the World Bank and with thinktank Food First – has been spent trying to understand the inequalities and problems caused by free market economics, particularly as it relates to the developing world.

His first book, Stuffed and Starved, rips through the problems in global food production and examines how the free market has worked to keep millions hungry (Naomi Klein called it dazzling, while the Guardian's Felicity Lawrence said it was "an impassioned call to action"). The Value of Nothing, meanwhile, draws on the economic collapse to look at how we might fix the system and improve life for billions of people around the globe.

While his goal appears to match Share's vision of worldwide harmony, he says the underlying assumptions it makes are wrong – and possibly even dangerous.

"What I'm arguing in the book is precisely the opposite of the Maitreya: what we need is various kinds of rebellion and transformations about how private property works," he said.

"I don't think a messiah figure is going to be a terribly good launching point for the kinds of politics I'm talking about – for someone who has very strong anarchist sympathies, this has some fairly deep contradictions in it."

To say Patel – with his academic air, stammer and grey-flecked hair – is a reluctant saviour is an understatement. In fact, he rejects the entire notion of saviours. If there is one thing he has learned from his work as an activist in countries such as Zimbabwe and South Africa, it is that there are no easy answers.

"People are very ready to abdicate responsibility and have it shovelled on to someone else's shoulders," he said. "You saw that with Obama most spectacularly, but whenever there's going to be someone who's just going to fix it for you, it's a very attractive story. It's in every mythological structure."

Always the academic.

Patel's rejection of his status as a deity does not seem to have killed off interest from Share's members. Indeed, the situation has invaded his everyday life, such as when two devotees travelled from Detroit – some 2,400 miles away – just to hear him give a short public talk.

"They were really nice people, not in your face, really straightforward – these people do not look like fanatics," he says. "I gave the talk, and they hung around at the end and we had a chat."

It was only then that the pair revealed that they were followers of Creme's teachings.

Patel said: "They said they thought I was the Maitreya … they also said I had appeared in their dreams. I said: 'I'm really flattered that you came all the way here, but it breaks my heart that you came all this way and spent all this money to meet someone who isn't who you think he is.'

"It made me really depressed, actually. That evening I was really down."

While he struggles to cope with this unwanted anointment, his friends and family are more tickled by the situation.

"They think it's hilarious," he said. "My parents came to visit recently, and they brought clothes that said 'he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy'. To them, it's just amusing."

As it is to us...and I'm sure to the members of Monty Python as well. Life sometimes imitates art, but it's not every day that said art is The Life of Brian (Note: Video contains a quick shot of carrot 'n' onions and may not be work-safe):

What this really needed was to take place in a Trader Joe's

I needed this today too:

(Thanks, Tata!)

Corporate America in Two Minutes Fifteen Seconds

I really need to start watching Sesame Street...I'd forgotten how snarky they can be.

(via Oliver Willis)

Caturday

I'll never call Maggie stupid again after watching this (from BadTux the Snarky Penguin, sent by skywind)

Best Tom Tomorrow Ever

Go get it.

The Day Teh Funny Died

Remember how you felt that time you saw Miles Davis in the mid-1980's when the edgiest guy in jazz had been reduced to playing "Time after Time" in a yellow satin shirt, and then after he died, Mr. Brilliant turned to you and said "He's been dead for years already."

Oh, wait. That was me.

So it is with the company formerly known as Air America Radio and now known as "Those motherfuckers at AAR."

Last Wednesday the final nail was put into the coffin of what used to be something fresh and new and almost daring and exciting when Marc Maron and Sam Seder were kicked in the teeth once again, being told right before the Wednesday Break Room Live webcast that it would be their last one. The current batch of suits at Air America Media have once again fired the only remnants left of when progressive talk radio was something worth listening to. Every iteration of the various people who have gone through the revolving door of a level of mismanagement of that property even more than the Wilpons have managed the New York Mets has made matters worse. When you look at what constitutes the "talent" at AAR these days, it's sickening: Ron Reagan with his jihad against fat people. Montel Williams, moonlighting from his career as infomercial pitchman and shill for Astra-Zenica. Does anyone actually listen to these people? Even Ron Kuby, who is no great shakes as a host himself, has been screwed over by these people.

I wish I could say I was surprised. I wanted to write something coherent and passionate about what these people have done over and over and over again to these two guys who have sweated bullets and given their hearts and souls to try to make Air America work. But I couldn't. Part of it is the ridiculous hours I'm working, but part of it is that I'm just tired of it -- because it's what I expect now from Air America "Media." I EXPECT these people to try to sell me a shit sandwich and tell me it's roast beef with gravy and think I'm going to eat it. So when I found out on Wednesday, there wasn't the sense of OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW? that I had when Morning Sedition was cancelled. It was mostly just sadness -- sadness that these two talented and decent men who have so much to offer the sociopolitical discourse in this country and who have built a ferociously loyal community of smart, funny fans that sane management would treasure have been so shabbily treated by a company that seems bound and determined to do whatever it has to in order to fail spectacularly.

This morning I ground the last of a bag of "Angry Chef Happy Coffee" from Just Coffee, the show's only sponsor, and said "I really should keep this bag right next to the Morning Sedition coffee mug as a reminder of what's gone."

And so it is that I really have nothing to say, except thank you, Marc and Sam. Thank you for helping me feel not so lost during my first week in a country where I didn't know the language and didn't know a soul, but where I could turn on my netbook at 9:00 PM (Cologne time) and get a taste of teh funny and teh smart and teh clever. Thanks for your hard and tireless work over the last five years to try to make something work that can't be saved. And now, go forth and make thine own way. We will follow you. If you build it, they will come.

More from Rachel Sklar and the incomparable P.J. Sauter, who still keeps Teh Funny going via his 24-hour loop of Morning Sedition interviews and comedy bits that you can listen to in the right-hand sidebar right here at B@B.

UPDATE: Sederite "Alice" over at SamSederShow.com wrote to TMaAAR and got the following response:

I understand how you feel about the loss of Break Room Live. The only thing I can do at the moment is promise you that I will show your comment to upper management.

Also, here are two statements about the cancellation--one from CEO Bennett Zier and one from Program Director Bill Hess. They were released via Twitter this week:

Here’s tweet #1 from Bill Hess –

"For now, the daily live stream of Air America's @BreakRoomLive has been discontinued. Visit your favorite shows here: http://bit.ly/yEZ8Q "

Here’s tweet #2 from Bennett Zier –

"We love @MarcMaron @SamSeder. They are very talented. We hope to work with them in the future."

Thanks,

Bob Drummond
Air America Support

Bennett Zier loves Maron and Seder so much he fired them. That's some twisted-ass love.

Blogging from Cologne: Steiff! Steiff! Steiff!

It's so humid in Cologne right now you could just melt. If you're like me, and you don't do well in heat or humidity, and you packed for mid-to-high 70's, you're not a very happy camper right about now. Well, I am, because I'm back in my room getting ready to do actual work after spending the morning at the Römish-Germanisches museum, where I took a ton of photos and videos that I probably won't get to post till I get home next Friday.

But yesterday was shopping and a visit to the Dom. First up, my grip to the Galeria Kaufhof, where my colleague assured me I could find Steiff toys.

Well.

When you get off the escalator on the floor where the sports equipment, kids' clothes, and toys are, you are greeted by this guy:

Now, this child you see in the video was enthralled, but I know that when I was a small child, this thing would have scared the living daylights out of me. I also thought it was strange that when he's finished, he squats down on the lovely Steiff golden retriever under him. But whatever. Let's take a tour of the department, shall we? (Mom, you'd better sit down for this.)

If you're looking for bargains, you won't find them here. There seem to be 2 tiers of Steiff animals now; the original, hard-bodied toys with the stiff fur, which are still preposterously expensive, and the softer, newer-style toys that are more affordable. I mean, I am just not paying 80 € for a 4" bear. I'm just not. But of course I am the person who once bought a bag of about six Steiff animals for 25 bucks from an animal shelter yard sale the minute the person who brought them in started pulling them out. But you can hear me muttering in the second video that the bears in suitcases can be had for $25 from the Signals catalog, and they were the equivalent of $40 here.

I had read that in Germany they don't use plastic shopping bags, so I brought my canvas Trader Joe's tote with me. Well, if you go into a Steiff department with an empty tote bag, they are going to keep an eye on you. So there I was, trying to explain to a salesperson who spoke no English that if they can "schiff auf US, ich [take] das grosse animal fur meine mutti geburtstag, Sie ist zwei und ochtzig." So we managed to communicate, and when she saw I was a serious buyer, the smile came out and I was directed to a service desk, where I had to explain that "St." in the US suffices, that you need not write "Strasse", and in fact no one will know what it means. So it remains to be seen whether my purchase will ever get to the U.S., but with a big laptop bag and carry-on limits, there is no way I would have been able to bring my purchase on the plane.

But I was also captivated by this little guy, who wasn't a Steiff, but in true internet geek fashion, is called -- what else -- a Roffle:

His name is Rollo the Laughing Dog, and you can get your very own here.

Just the kind of thing "Lawton Smalls" would do

Is an appearance of Lawton Smalls on Break Room Live in the offing?

And the geek shall inherit the earth

Very different from, but no less smart, erudite, and hilarious than Stephen Colbert's White House Correspondents Dinner skewering of George W. Bush, is John Hodgman's headlining speech at last night's Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner:

Sounding very much like Marvin the Martian claiming this planet in the name of Mars, last night Hodgman claimed this country in the name of geeks and nerds everywhere.

As someone who has been one for lo these 53 years and only realized when I turned 40 that my problem as a child was that I had been 40 all along, I can only say "It's about damn time."

Sunday YouTubing

Why I never wanted children:

I don't care who started it! Knock it off!

The End of Civilization As We Know It

Marc Maron has succumbed to the siren song of Twitter.

I am now the only one on earth who hasn't.

And all Brian Williams wants to do is pet the dog

I can actually relate to the concept of being in the White House with the world's most fabulous woman -- and all you want to do is pet the dog:

Blogrolling In Our Time: Special Send in the Crones Edition

New to our blogroll today (h/t): Margaret and Helen: Best. Blog. Ever.

Hey, Lynn? That's going to be us someday.

Hey, he said it, I didn't

When the jokes write themselves....

Friday Cat Blogging: Special Maron v. Seder edition

The prodigal son is returning, and there was much joy and celebration throughout the land.

Ever since December 2005, and especially since the middle of 2006, those of us who have been carrying the torch for the late and lamented Morning Sedition have been waiting with bated breath for any news whatsoever that perhaps the suits at Air America Radio might have realized the colossal mistake that occurred 4,287 management changes ago (or so it seems), when Danny Goldberg decided that because he didn't like Marc Maron, one of the most popular shows on the network should be cancelled. Since then, the faithful Maronisti have been congregating over at PJ's place, skulking around comedy clubs hither and yon, and sitting through choppy VODcasts at Sam Seder's site, while our Two Jewish Heroes got screwed over by AAR again and again.

Perhaps it's because right now Air America is but a fading shadow, with only lowlights like Lionel and the earnest but dull Ron Kuby as marquee properties, now that Rachel Maddow is hitting the big time, and who knows how long she'll be able to handle a three-hour radio show (even a pre-recorded one) and a nightly network prime-time show of her own. Or perhaps it's the realization that Maddow is the last personality left on Air America with a following. But whatever the reason, the Powers that Be have decided to swallow their pride and Do What's Necessary to bring Marc Maron back to New York where he belongs.

And so, today, we learned that on Monday, August 25, at 3:00 PM Eastern Time, Messrs. Maron and Seder will be bringing their own unique brand of bickering, ferociously smart, often hilariously funny, "Hey Kids, Let's Put On a Show" video back to Air America (sort of). The VODcast will be shown at AirAmerica.com. There will be sketches, man-on-the-street interviews, political commentary and interviews, large doses of Teh Funny, and even Brendan McDonald from the old Morning Sedition board crew is back to produce the show. Maron is coming back to Astoria, with two of the Original Astoria Cats (my money's on Moxie and Monkey), returning to Where It All Began.

The show will run daily at 3 PM Eastern Time starting Monday, and will continue at least through the election. There are enough Maron and Seder fans out here that Sam's site was getting royally clobbered during today's VODcast, where the new endeavor was announced, so I have no doubt that with precious little marquee talent still in the stable, and two guys with some of the most loyal fans in radio, that this little venture into the future of broadcasting is going to succeed.

Presumably the show will be available as Video On Demand, so you'll be able to watch it any time; more on that is it develops. As this year's presidential campaign gets sillier and more trivial than ever, you'll want to have ready access in order to keep your sanity.

Maggie was very interested in this development today:

...and wanted to IM Sam until I told her we don't have IM:

...and thought that the talk about the PUMA crazies was about cats: