Of particular interest was an exchange from two years ago when Foley griped to Jeb about getting shunned by Jeb's older brother, or as he is referred to by acronym, POTUS - President of the United States.
"Have I done something to offend the White House ... I am always getting the shaft ... they came to ft pierce a few weeks ago and said I was not allowed to attend ... yet joe negron is there ...
"Tomorrow Potus is in Martin County and i am told I am not allowed to be there either. I can't quite figure what I have done but this is a continuing pattern of slights ... I have constantly put the President in the best possible light on everything from haiti to hurricanes ... sorry to trouble you ... I wouldn't if this wasn't so frequent."
Another reason?
Jeez. What could Foley have done that was so horrible, so reprehensible that George W. Bush took special care to make sure Foley was told to stay away?
Anybody have a clue here?
Help me solve this mystery.
Jeb was no help.
"I know it is nothing you have done. Promise." Jeb answered Foley. "I think it relates to debate prep time."
Debate prep time? Nah, that's clearly a dodge.
If that were the case, then why wouldn't Negron also be a debate prep time liability?
No, there must be some other reason. I've been racking my brain over this one all week, trying to come up with something the White House knew about Foley two years ago, something that might make the congressman radioactive.
Hmm. I know this is far-fetched. But the only thing I can think of is that the White House knew that Foley had a penchant for stalking high-school-age boys in the congressional page program.
Follow the trail
How would that info trail work?
OK, Foley's former chief of staff, Kirk Fordham said he knew about Foley's page problem in 2003, and he passed it on to House Speaker Dennis Hastert's chief of staff.
Foley, once the Republican front-runner for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Bob Graham in 2004, suddenly withdrew, citing his father's health.
Meanwhile, the White House selected Mel Martinez to run.
Fordham leaves Foley to work for the Martinez campaign.
You can go Fordham to Hastert to Bush, or if you don't like that, Fordham to Martinez to Bush.
Of course, this is totally farfetched, because the major flaw in this theory is that it would mean George W. Bush is a president willing to keep terrible secrets from the American people.
And I can't imagine that. So we just may never know why the president started "giving the shaft" to Foley two years ago.
It could end up being just one of those things — like torture, domestic spying and secret prisons — that's too important to share with the American people.
Meanwhile, our Virtuous Christian President is on the campaign trail for some of the most Christian, virtuous men in his party. Men like George "Macaca" Allen and Don "Choker" Sherwood:
A congressman who admitted to having an affair and a senator accused of using racial slurs will get some political help from President Bush next week.
Bush will make campaign stops Thursday in Pennsylvania and Virginia to help the two troubled Republicans as the GOP struggles to maintain its endangered grip on the House and Senate.
"The President has made a commitment, and he's going to fulfill the commitment," White House press secretary Tony Snow said Friday.
Bush's appearances are intended to give a boost to four-term Rep. Don Sherwood (news, bio, voting record), R-Pa., and Sen. George Allen (news, bio, voting record), R-Va.
Sherwood had one of the safest seats in Congress as his conservatism played well in his heavily Republican, rural district in northeastern Pennsylvania. Democrats didn't even bother fielding a candidate in the last two elections.
Then last year Sherwood admitted to a five-year extramarital affair with a woman 35 years his junior. He settled a lawsuit claiming he had choked her.
"Mr. Sherwood has certainly admitted to what has gone on, and the president also believes that we're all sinners, we all seek forgiveness, and in this particular case, he's supporting Don Sherwood's candidacy," Snow said.
Isn't that tidy? No wonder so many people are flocking to evangelical megachurches. All you have to do is believe in Jesus and you can cheat on your wife, choke the woman you're cheating on her with, put dead deer in black people's mailboxes, use racial slurs, and apparently even prey on teenage boys (until and unless you get found out) -- WITH NO CONSEQUENCES! Imagine that. Imagine being able to have no moral code whatsoever. Imagine never having to wonder if you should take the receptionist up on her offer of a good time in the broom closet. Imagine being able to take that watch you were looking at out of the store. Imagine being able to beat your wife, abuse your kids, embezzle money from your boss -- and you get off scot-free -- all because you believe in Jesus! Who wouldn't take that kind of an offer? Commit a sin, and Jesus has forgiven you. End of story. I think that's a pretty Goddamn fine exchange.
So why is it that someone like me, a Godless commie liberal who has been married for 20 years without ever cheating, doesn't steal office supplies, pays my taxes, and when I find a tomato in the bottom of the cart that fell out of the bag while I was checking out, I go back and pay for it, doesn't take the bait?
Maybe it's because I don't need a story about some Jewish guy who got nailed to a tree 2000 years ago to know what's right and what isn't. I don't need that get-out-of-jail-free card because doing good is its own reward. And if that means I'm damned to hellfire eternal for not believing this cock-and-bull story about some egomaniac so-called deity who doesn't give a shit what you do but only wants you to believe what he tells you, then so be it.
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