Mencken

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.