"We don't have enough fuel to stay in a holding pattern...."

No, this isn't a post about Iraq, thought the title might as well be.

We are back home, thanks to a pilot who resembled one of the Jersey Boys far more than the chiseled, Midwestern, affectless WASP we usually associate with airline pilotry. Yesterday's flight was the first time I'd ever heard a pilot tell the flight attendants to "prepayeh faw depawtcha", and while it made said pilot sound like he should be hanging out on a street corner instead of flying a 737, it obviously struck fear into the hearts of air traffic control at Newark.

Yesterday saw what must have been one hell of a big line of thunderstorms in the New York area, and since our flight had arrived late into Montego Bay, it obviously wasn't refueled before we took off. Therefore, there wasn't fuel to spare circling Newark for an indeterminate period of time. But for some reason, someone decided that we had enough fuel to get to Pittsburgh, and that's where we headed -- until a half-hour later, when the announcement came that we'd been cleared to land at Newark -- a good thing, since they'd been turning the air conditioning off and then on again only as necessary for the last hour to conserve fuel. So I have no idea how we were expected to make it to Pittsburgh.

It was the only glitch in a relatively smooth trip home from Jamaica. After 18 trips over the last 21 years, it's hard to get used to the fact that now the tour companies realize why the bus to take you back to the airport has to show up on time, and that you no longer have to worry about rickety vans that break down on the way to the airport, or buses that pick up passengers along the road who then die on the way to the airport -- both things we've experienced over the years.

But this minor hassle is nothing compared to what Jamaicans are about to endure by tomorrow, as Hurricane Dean, now a Category 4 storm with winds of 150 mph, slams the island with full force. The relief factor at getting home before the storm hits is offset by concern about those whose homes are likely to be destroyed and their lives affected by this storm. I'll be continuing my Jamaica diary over the next few days, with reports on the upcoming election on August 27, Jamaica's growing ethanol industry, and how while Jamaica is still one of the most homophobic countries in the world, at least where hetero sex is concerned, it's a far less prudish media culture than ours.