If I'd been on that plane, and the pilot had wanted a blowjob at home plate at Yankee Stadium, I'd be on the D train

Like many people, I spent a ridiculous amount of time last night doing the equivalent of watching paint dry, as various and sundry pilots discussed the landing plan for JetBlue flight #292 (at least until the rip-roaring season premiere of Lost came on). The suspence was enthralling -- and appalling -- and for all that the pilots all seemed to indicate that this was not a particularly dangerous situation, it seemed to me that 2000 gallons of fuel AFTER burning most of it off + sparks = Get Your Ass Out Of There Quick.

But the pilot of JetBlue 292 put that puppy down on the rear landing gear softly like a kitten, then just barely touched the front gear down. It was a truly amazing sight, but what was more amazing was watching calm people debark the plane as if everything had gone according to plan. I'd have been a raving lunatic for 2-1/2 hours.

As for that pilot, as well as the passengers? Well, folks, your fifteen minutes has now begun.