A Death in Toontown

Back in 2005, I wrote about dealing with the deaths of fictional characters. This was in response to the end of Six Feet Under and what looked at the time, and proved not to be the imminent demise of Wally in the Funky Winkerbean comic strip from an errant land mine in Afghanistan.

If Funky author Tom Batiuk copped out of having to blow Wally to smithereens via the most unlikely mine disarming ever, when it comes to beleagured character Lisa Crawford Moore, Batiuk let her have it with both barrels.

Lisa has been a staple in the strip for much of its run -- as a pregnant teenager in the strip's earlier incarnation who gave up her baby for adoption and finished high school. Later, after Batiuk fast-forwarded the strip, she went on to go to law school and establish a thriving practice, marry her best friend -- Funky's dorky sidekick Les, battle breast cancer successfully and produce a daughter, only to find herself with a recurrence of cancer earlier this year.

Batiuk has taken a lot of flack over the last few years for dealing with topics like alcoholism, the war in the Middle East, and Lisa's cancer. But for those of us who for some strange reason find ourselves drawn (heh) first to the "storyline" strips like Funky and For Better or Worse, the storylines are what have kept us coming back.

Early on in Lisa's cancer struggle, Batiuk took on the health care industry, writing about Les and Lisa's struggles with their HMO, "DenialCare." This time the industry was curiously absent and it was the health care delivery system that screwed up, mixing up Lisa's scans with those of another patient. This is hardly a far-fetched concept, given the news from Long Beach, NY this morning of a woman suing a medical lab for mixing up test results which resulted in her having a double mastectomy when she turned out not to have cancer at all.

Over the last few months, Batiuk, a cancer survivor himself, hasn't shrunk from presenting the devastation of cancer. He's packed the storyline with content, with Lisa testifying before Congress for more cancer research funding, finding that the son she gave up years before (who turned out to be another character in the strip), and making the decision to stop the radiation and chemotherapy that was making her feel awful and live whatever time she had left, and he hasn't shied away from presenting late-stage cancer in all its devastation. In Monday's heartbreaking strip, the cancer, now metastasized to Lisa'a brain, took her eyesight, thus ensuring that she would not, as she'd wished, see the leaves turn one more time.

Against a backdrop in which a presidential candidate's wife is also battling a recurrence of breast cancer, Lisa's storyline seems to be a slap in the face of the millions of women battling breast cancer today. But for someone in Lisa's position, with an aggressive form of cancer that has spread beyond medicine's ability to do much more than throw a bunch of chemicals at it and see if anything at least slows it down, choosing to let nature take its course rather than live a sick and miserable few weeks longer, can be just as courageous a decision as the one to keep fighting a futile battle. My point is that everyone with cancer is different, their cancers are different, and Lisa's choice is not about "giving up" but about choosing how you want to make the cancer journey.

Today, Batiuk finally and mercifully ends Lisa's struggle after wisely choosing to end the graphic depiction of end-stage cancer. He shows Lisa'a death as taking place in a kind of halfway point between life and death, in which the cancer patient sees herself as she was when she was healthy in a netherworld with no context and no background, as if it were some kind of demented Duck Amuck sequel. But rather than prolong the reader's agony by showing us Les and daughter Summer's long grieving process, he's going to flash-forward the strip ten years, beginning on Sunday, October 21st.

During this compelling storyline, which had readers scratching their heads about how much they were grieving the imminent demise of a person who isn't even played by an actor, and isn't even three-dimensional, one anonymous blogger has provided such a community in which Funky fans can read the strips along with snarky commentary (which has grown markedly less snarky as Lisa's disease has progressed), so if you don't read the strip and want to follow the storyline, you still can. One ingenious Funky fan has dealt with the strange emotion of grieving for a pen-and-ink character by imagining the strip as a show in which the characters are portrayed by actors with the same names. Because one needs to laugh even in the face of tragedy, I was able to obtain permission from the author (who, alas, has no site to link to and wishes to be identified only as "Ash") to reprint in its entiretythis seriously funny "interview" with "Lisa Crawford", who plays Lisa in the strip:

When reality gets a bit too heavy for me to deal with, in this case for example, I always end up thinking about the death of Bill the Cat. If you are not familiar with Bloom County, there was a particular episode that dealt with Bills death. Obviously, everything was screwball and comedy, since frankly I was never quite sure if Bill fit the definition of alive. Anyway, there is a part where various comic strip characters are being interviewed about the life and death of Bill. I believe in one panel, Charlie Brown, in silhouette, talks about Bill drinking all his root beer and trashing his Hollywood bungalow.

I see Lisa Crawford, who plays the character Lisa Crawford Moore on the comic strip Funky Winkerbean sitting down and doing an interview about her departure from Funky Winkerbean.

Lisa, thanks for taking the time to speak with us today.

Lisa: You are so welcome. I'm happy to be interviewed.

Lisa, you have been a character in Funky Winkerbean (FW) for decades. We saw your character grow from an awkward teenager to a successful lawyer, marrying your best friend and having a child with him. How do you feel about your departure from FW?

Lisa: Wow, there are just so many emotions going through my head right now. Obviously sadness and loss is the primary emotion I'm feeling. I have loved working on FW. I practically grew up on the set of FW. I am personally close to most of the cast and I hope to see them regularly after this.

I'm also partially happy. I think it's time I move on. I have had offers to appear in other strips. I may have a small part on For Better or Worse, as a predatory home wrecker, trying to break up Michael's marriage. I still do not know if I will take the part, but it would be a challenge.

More importantly, I'm going to go home and eat and eat and eat. I had to lose 45lbs this last 6 months! I need to gain back 20lbs (laughter).

Was the idea of killing of your character, strictly Tom Batiuk's (TB) idea, or did you have any input?

Lisa: Well, I have a small ranch in Texas that I spend the winters at. In fact, my neighbor is Thomas Haden Church. That man should have his OWN strip, let me tell you! Anyway, I was out riding horseback when I see Tom pull up to the fence. I'm thinking, what the hell is Tom doing out here?? This was down time for all of us on the strip.

I ride to the fence gate, let Tom in, he gets out of his rented car and tells me he has made an important decision and he and I have to talk.

Tom and I have always had our differences. I do believe I have slapped him on at least two occasions, with little regret on my part. But I love Tom, both professionally and personally. He told me what he had planed for my character. I slapped him for the third occasion.

Tom and I spent two of the most heart wrenching two days working out what would happen to Lisa. I made peace with Tom and understood where he was going with the character. I didn't quite like it, but I understood.

I also made peace with my character Lisa last winter too. There is a small grave on a hill on the ranch, under an old mesquite tree that represents my time on FW. The grave has a maternity dress I wore during the whole teen pregnancy episode, a Robin costume I wore when I married Les, a pink ribbon I got during breast cancer awareness month walkathon and a whole bunch of mud from my tears.

You and Les Moore have had a professional and personal relationship for years. You both seemed like the perfect couple. What happened and where are you two now?

Lisa: Boy, where to star with that? Les and I have been friends from day one. I have always adored Les as a friend. I believe it all started to change some time in the late 80's. In fact, I know the precise moment and it involved Tina Yothers. About two weeks before, that said "moment" Les and I were at a party in New York. I think we were helping Tom sell one of his books and we had appeared on the Today show. Anyway, Les and I get invited to this glitzy party for a movie premier, I don't even remember which. Being in the comic strip industry and being invited to a movie premier is a big deal. In the entertainment world, we are slightly ahead of Soap Opera celebrity. Slightly more famous, less cash. Them's the breaks. Anyway, while we were there, Les got the idea that he is going to go introduce himself to Winnona Ryder. He offers her a drink and introduces himself. She offers him a $40 tip, thinking he is a polite waiter. Oh the wretched look on Les's face. I felt so bad for him that night. It wasn't like Les is Brad DeGroot from Luann. That's another story which needs a shot of tequila to tell. I grabbed Les by the arm before he embarrassed himself even further and explained that we had an even bigger party we needed to attend. He and I spent the rest of the night at some coffee house in Greenwich talking and laughing and I was thinking Winnona really lost out that night.

Fast forward two weeks and who do I see Les with on the set? That's right, Tina Yothers from Family Ties. I don't know the full story, but an episode of Family Ties was going to involve Tina stuck up a rope in gym and Les was going to make a guest appearance, stuck up another rope, right by her. Lazy writers at the time, I guess. I didn't know that feelings for Les I had, had grown to the extent I was feeling at that moment. I was fuming. I was absolutely f***ing livid. I was about as angry and jealous as I think I have ever been. I wanted to take a fresh, steaming hot Montoni pepperoni pizza and smash it right in Tina's face.

You know, you spend a lot of time with someone, you sometimes don't recognize feelings that sneak up on you. I really thought I thought of Les as a brother, honestly. A good friend, a buddy even. But more than that? If you would have told me I would end up falling for Les, I would have told you that was about as likely as Charles Schultz writing in that Charlie Brown actually kicks the football from Lucy and then goes and actually kicks Lucy's ass.

A year passed and as many of my fans know, Les and I ended up getting married and we have two wonderful children together. Reality sat in about 5 years down the road and unlike the comics, Les and I changed and it was not in a way that made us grow closer. Towards the end of our marriage, things got so ugly, I almost had to quit the strip. I really pushed Tom into writing that difficult time into the strip. You know, Les falls for one of his students. Gets arrested. Thrown in jail, beaten and only occasionally seen in the comic. Tom didn't go for it, said it could be a good plot line, but it would be hard to bring in any comedy in it. Comedy. Cancer? Sure. Les's character getting busted with jail-bait and thrown into state prison, not so much. It was just the anger in me talking, but still. Gets me worked up just talking about it.

The rumors about Funky and me are just that, rumors. It didn't take anyone else to come between us, we did that all on our own. Les and I came to an understanding. I had to come to realization that I could not change Les, and Les could not change who me. Les will always be, in my opinion, much like his comic strip character; a great listener and a good friend with a good heart and of course, a bit of a dork. Unlike his comic character, Les has almost no ability to commit to a relationship. I truly believe that Les would shrivel up and die if there were no women for him to seduce on an almost monthly basis. Myself? I had no desire to put up with it. Les was and is a great friend and a fantastic father. He unfortunately, made a lousy husband. Having children together, we managed to work things out as far as being friends with each other. Sometimes, he even listens to the fairly good advice I give him. Sometimes I think he should accidentally get shoved into one of the pizza ovens in the comic strip.

We know about your relationship with Les, how about your relationship with the other cast members?

Lisa: As I mentioned, I'm fairly close to most of the cast, especially the ones that have been there for a while. I have a home in Ohio, where the main set is and I do believe that almost everyone in FW has come over on several occasions. Funky and Holly come over to the ranch quite often, actually.

Is there any particular cast member you have or had a rocky relationship with?

Lisa: Other than Les? No, not really. I sometimes was a bit distant with Mr. Dinkle and to this day, I still call him Mr. Dinkle. It may not seem like it, but he is just so intense. So focused. So in character at all times. I learned so much of my craft from him, but never got to know him on anything other than a professional level.

Lisa, I want to clarify a rumor for us. Did you and Cindy ever have a lesbian affair?

Lisa:(nervous laughter) OH my! Where did that rumor come from?

It's been an urban legend for years and is quite a popular item to speculate about on the internet.

Lisa: (laughter) The internet. Of course. It's a series of tubes!

Well, I can say, I did have a wild side when I was younger. The whole teen pregnancy thing was actually not that far off from really happening. Cindy however?

Well, I'll end this rumor right now. No lesbian affair.

(giggling) But we made out on at least two occasions! We were teenagers and peppermint schnapps does strange things to me. Cindy was and is a hottie, can you blame me?

In 1992, Tom had you all age by 10 years, how did you all manage that?

Lisa: Well, the same way this upcoming jump will be handled. Lots and lots of make up. In 1992 it was such a relief to stop playing a teenager. I had to stoop to make myself look smaller and had to wear this girdle that made me have a figure only slightly more busty and curvy than a teenage boy. It was a nightmare. Most of us had had enough at that point. Tom may have said it was his idea, but frankly, most of the "teenagers" almost walked off for good.

How do you feel about the next 10 year jump, with your departure from FW?

Lisa: Well, I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned, but I will be in a few strips, mostly as flash backs and on video. Everyone else will just need to spend a little bit more time with make up and prosthetics here and there.

Also, a lot of the kids currently on the strip are being, well fired. I mean, in a way, it's a good thing. Growing up as a 6 year old, your entire life on a comic strip is too much. Look at what happened to those Family Circus kids. I mean, each one is in their 50's and they have to be digitally altered to still fit the strip. How many times has Billy been arrested for his "child" like behavior outside the strip? I'm sure there is only so much a judge is going to put up with and roaming around the neighborhood, jumping on peoples cars, walking through their houses and messing with their property may be cute for a 7 year old, but not a crazed 52 year old.

Autumn, who plays my daughter Summer is just a sweetie. Wise beyond her years. She actually will be on the ranch next year as I really have grown to think of her as a daughter.

The young lady that will be the new teenage Summer has already been hired. Apparently she was going to be in a new Spider-Girl strip, as the teenage daughter of Peter and Mary Jane Parker, but that didn't work out.

As far as character development? Who knows. I don't really know where Tom will be taking some of these characters. I heard that Wally Winkerbean does not have a contract yet, so maybe Tom still has some thinning of the heard to do. (points her finger in the shape of a pistol at a picture of Wally and her on her wall)

Is there anything you would like to say to FW fans before to end the interview?

Lisa: I would just like to thank them all for their support. I have seen the final strip with my character already. It's hard to watch yourself in a strip like that. The whole time, I was thinking of all the memories I have about FW. The laughter, the tears, the depression, the absolute joy. Those memories just came swelling back and it hit me like a real death would.

I think it's important to remember, that FW, like life has a whole grab bag of events that happen to the characters. We may not like the sadness, but it helps define laughter. We may not like the ugliness that sometimes life offers up, but it makes the beauty in life, that much more beautiful.

Lisa was a character in a comic strip called Funky Winkerbean. She loved and laughed. She cried and even hated, just like all of us. She was a geek who feel in love with another geek and that love was everlasting, as corny as that may sound. She had a child that no mother could love any more strongly. She died on her terms against an impossible fight. Yet, she lives on...every time you see Summer. Every time you think of her as a pregnant teenager trying to figure things out. Every time you think of her and Les being married on Halloween as Batman and Robin. Every time you think of her fighting and winning against breast cancer. Every time you think of her, Lisa is very much alive. It is your own comic strip in your own mind, it is your story of Lisa that matters. If you don't close the page on her memory, she will never be gone.

Lisa, thank you again for letting us interview you.

Lisa: It was my pleasure. And just to let you know, I'm going to have a book out by summer. Tentatively titled "Confessions of a Comic Strip Starlet: The Lisa Crawford Biography". I have several publishers who want the rights, but I have not picked one yet. Keep a look for it on Amazon.com and my subsequent tour to promote the book!

"Ash" isn't the only one who's gone meta on Lisa's story. The University Hospitals Ireland Cancer Center in Cleveland, Ohio, has set up "Lisa's Legacy Fund". Lisa's Story: The Other Shoe has just been published by Kent State University Press.