"How DARE he keep children awake on a school night delaying his remarks!"
"He kept Americans, some of whom lost loved ones on 9/11, waiting while his speechwriters told him what to say."
"This is George Bush's victory. After all, it was he who started the war in Afghanistan."
"This proves Obama is a Muslim. Obviously other Muslims turned Bin Laden in."
Post your own projections and overhearings in the comments.
POST-SPEECH UPDATE: It's doubly sweet that this has happened on Codpiece Day. And kudos to Obama for NOT giving credit to George W. Bush, who let Osama Bin Laden go at Tora Bora and barely six months after the 9/11 attacks, was saying this:
ANOTHER UPDATE: Oy. Ida Siegel, reporting from lower Manhattan for MSNBC, just referred to "Obama" being dead. Barack Obama has been president for over two years already. You'd think people would know how to pronounce his name by now.