What I will defend Hillary Clinton for doing...and what I won't

As someone who really didn't get the chance to vote for my choice in New Jersey's primary, I'm hardly in a position to tell the denizens of North Carolina, Indiana, and the other states and possessions yet to have their presidential primaries, that they should have to take a pig in a poke. And for all that it would certainly be easier to have this primary race over with and a presumptive nominee chosen now, the fact of the matter is that we don't. So while I wish with every fiber of my being that Hillary Clinton would take one for the team, there's only so much griping I'm going to do. And I'll defend her right to take her campaign right up to the convention -- with the following rules:

1) No do-overs. You agreed to the party rules in Florida and Michigan and you didn't complain then. So you have to live with them now.

2) No more moving the goal posts. Every state matters. Primaries and caucuses both count. No more of this talk of how the only processes that are important are the ones you win.

3) No more doing the Republicans' dirty work for them. If you have substantive policy differences with Barack Obama, then air them. Insist on a REAL debate with real policy questions -- about health care mandates, about Middle East policy, about global warming, about the housing debacle, about job outsourcing, and about the current food and energy crises. Let the remaining voters decide based on the differences in the way you would address these problems. No more negative ads, no more Obama/Osama bullshit.

4) Explain why you think you're the better choice, but stop this crap about how the world will come to an end if Barack Obama gets the nomination.

5) If by the beginning of June, there's no way you can obtain this nomination without strongarming and bullying delegates, threatening them with the Wrath of Clinton if they don't fall in line, then for God's sake do the right thing, drop out, and throw your support behind Obama. He's going to need it. The future of this country is more important than you, your ego, your idea that what you thought was a shoo-in for you wasn't, your competition with the Bush family for who can do a better job with a restoration.

Barack Obama still might lose in November, but if he does, that doesn't mean you would have won. Today's Republicans are the dirtiest, foulest people in the history of American politics. They know how to appeal to Americans' worst instincts and impulses, and history shows that their tactics work -- but only when Republicans use them because we EXPECT it of them.

And if you do this, I might even consider supporting you in 2012 -- assuming we all live that long and assuming you cut the crap about nuking Iran. Because if John McCain is president, we're going to need you to take a leadership role in putting the brakes on him, because he is completely batshit crazy. Lately you've been talking as if you are too, but I'm willing to chalk that up to having to be tougher than the boys are -- unless you continue what looks to be a campaign tactic of trying to ensure an Obama defeat in the fall to hold the Democratic nomination open for you in 2012.

If you do that, then both this fall and in 2012, you can go Cheney yourself.

It's up to you.