samedi 12 avril 2008

Orange Juice: The Life and Death Campaign Issue for 2008

Because after all, what is a collapsing economy, a vanishing job base, an intractable war, and an upcoming energy crisis when you have the national threat of a guy who drinks orange juice instead of coffee:

SHUSTER: As for Barack Obama, he campaigned today in northern Indiana, shaking hands and chatting with people at a diner near South Bend. Then Obama headed to Gary, Indiana, where he spoke in front of a raucous crowd at Roosevelt High School. Obama's theme was the economy. He sharply criticized John McCain's support for extending the Bush tax cuts. And Obama said, McCain's housing plan, announced today, does not go far enough.

[...]

SHUSTER: Well, look, Chris, seriously, though, keep an eye on these college towns in Indiana, because I was just talking a few minutes ago, there are -- in a close primary, especially in a conservative state --

MATTHEWS: Right.

SHUSTER: -- you have a lot of people in -- who may be Democrats in a place like Indiana. Watch turnout in places like Bloomington, Terre Haute --

MATTHEWS: So you think the college crowd can beat the regular people there, if it comes down to that, in terms of Hillary's support?

SHUSTER: In a state like Indiana, if Obama can turn out the large crowds in the college towns --

MATTHEWS: Did you see him there?

SHUSTER: -- but that's --

MATTHEWS: He's not that good at that -- handshaking in a diner.

SHUSTER: No --

MATTHEWS: Barack doesn't seem to know how to do that right.

SHUSTER: -- he doesn't do that well. But then you see him in front of 15,000 people in some of these college towns, and that's why, Chris, we've seen Chelsea Clinton and Bill Clinton in Bloomington and South Bend and Terre Haute. I mean --

MATTHEWS: What's so hard about doing a diner? I don't get it. Why doesn't he go in there and say, "Did you see the papers today? What do you think about that team? How did we do last night?" Just some regular connection?

SHUSTER: Well, here's the other thing that we saw on the tape, Chris, is that, when Obama went in, he was offered coffee, and he said, "I'll have orange juice."

MATTHEWS: No.

SHUSTER: He did.

And it's just one of those sort of weird things. You know, when the owner of the diner says, "Here, have some coffee," you say, "Yes, thank you," and, "Oh, can I also please have some orange juice, in addition to this?" You don't just say, "No, I'll take orange juice," and then turn away and start shaking hands. That's what happens [unintelligible] --

MATTHEWS: You don't ask for a substitute on the menu.

SHUSTER: Exactly.

MATTHEWS: David, what a regular guy. You could do this. Anyway, thank you, David Shuster. I mean, go to the diners.

Here you have a guy that can do it. Senator Bob Casey of Pennsylvania is out on campaign. He campaigned all throughout the state lately for Barack Obama.

Isn't that interesting, Senator Casey, that Barack Obama, your candidate, can walk before 15,000 people with complete calm and assurance, but he seems a little out of place in A) a bowling alley and B) a diner? What is the problem with your guy?

CASEY: Chris, he was fine in the bowling alley. His score was a little low. But I was able -- it was the only thing I was able to beat him at during our bus tour. But he had a great response.


Oh My Freaking God. He can't bowl and he doesn't need caffeine. What kind of pussy IS this guy Barack Obama anyway? Doesn't he know that Real Men Drink Coffee....BLACK coffee (no pun intended, but if the shoe fits...). And they bowl and they like to shoot squirrels off the back porch. And here comes this fancy Negro (sic) with his fancy suits and his hifalutin' language and he thinks he's better than us good ol' boys of the Washington Press Corps?

How DARE he?

/snark (in case you thought I was serious.)

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