BREAKING: The Clenis® Gave Steroids to Rafael Palmeiro

Actually, it's getting to be fun finding out what the wingnuts are blaming Clinton for now:

In the 1990s, we called this "compartmentalizing." It was approved by journalists and public figures alike. President Bill Clinton executed his presidential tasks exuberantly day in and day out while retaining subpoenaed documents from prosecutors, coaching witnesses to deceive and lying brazenly to his staff and the public. He compartmentalized, and to this day, there are public figures who admire his sang-froid. They would agree with John Harris' assessment of him in Harris' recent encomium, "The Survivor," as being one of "the two most important political figures of their generation" -- the other being, who else, Hillary.

One of Clinton's most memorable statements that will ring down from the Decade of Illusions is: "I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." The Boy President said that glaring into the cameras on national television and pointing his finger for emphasis. Later he failed his drug test or rather his DNA test. Yet he is still arguing that the statement is somehow true.

Palmeiro is one of Clinton's finest students. Under oath before a Congressional Committee on March 17, he declared: "I have never used steroids. Period. I do not know how to say it more clearly than that. Never." He too glared and pointed his finger emphatically. Now that he is suspended after that failed test, he argues with Clintonian indefatigability: "I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. Period." The New York Times reports that the steroid he tested positive for is stanozolol. It is unimaginable that an adult would not know that he was taking it. Use of it in 1988 cost Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson his Olympic gold medal.

Funny how "The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa" doesn't count as a lie in Tyrrell's world. Funny also how Bush's denial that Palmiero could possibly have used steroids because he's a persona friend isn't mentioned. But that's how things are on Planet Delusional....Satan is represented not by a red guy with horns and a cape, but instead by an effigy of a giant phallus with "Bill Clinton" written on it in crayon.

(hat tip: ThinkProgress)

UPDATE: John at Blogenlust should give himself a pat on the back, because this is further proof of "Blogenlust's Law":

As an online discussion among wingnuts grows longer, the probability that a Clinton will be blamed for something approaches 1 (i.e., certainty).