I'm gonna go out on a limb here...

...and say that I think Lynne Cheney may be a closeted lesbian herself, and that's why she's so SHOCKED....SHOCKED...AND APPALLED...that John Kerry would have the TEMERITY to claim that her daughter Mary is a lesbian, never mind that said daughter has been out of the closet for 10 years.



Why do I say this?



Here's why:

The women who embraced in the wagon were Adam and Eve crossing a dark cathedral stage -- no, Eve and Eve, loving one another as they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit and knew themselves as they truly were. She felt curiously moved, curiously envious of them. She had never to this moment thought Eden a particularly attractive paradise, based as it was on naiveté, but she saw that the women in the cart had a passionate, loving intimacy forever closed to her. How strong it made them. What comfort it gave.

and here:

The young woman was heavily powdered, but quite attractive, a curvesome creature, rounded at bosom and cheek. When she smiled, even her teeth seemed puffed and rounded, like tiny ivory pillows.

Let us go away together, away from the anger and imperatives of men. We shall find ourselves a secluded bower where they dare not venture. There will be only the two of us, and we shall linger through long afternoons of sweet retirement. In the evenings I shall read to you while you work your cross-stitch in the firelight. And then we shall go to bed, our bed, my dearest girl.

These are excerpts from Lynne Cheney's 1981 book "Sisters."



STRAIGHT WOMEN DO NOT WRITE STUFF LIKE THIS!! I've been known to pen some fiction every now and then, and when I write sex it's straight sex. I have a novel in mind that has a bi man as one of the protagonists, and I haven't a clue how I'm going to handle the "gay stuff." But don't think I'm generalizing based solely on my own experience. I know someone who wrote one of the hottest damn straight sex scenes I've ever read -- and then came out of the closet herself.



"Write what you know", we're always told. And if you can't write what you know, write what you wish you knew -- especially when you're talking about eroticism. Write what you fantasize. I don't fantasize the way Lynne Cheney does. Maybe there are straight women who do, but I also think that gender and sexuality are probably a lot more fluid than people think, and there are varying degrees of gay, straight, and somewhere in between.



But when you do the math -- lesbian erotic fiction, being married to one of the most odious men on earth, being part of the moral tub-thumpers brigade, and protesting vociferously when someone mentions something about your daughter that you and the rest of the world already know; add in a soupcon of hating in others what you hate in yourself, and there's only one answer I can come up with.



Not that there's anything wrong with that....unless you advocate policies that would make people like your daughter -- and perhaps even yourself -- second class citizens...unless they choose to live a lie the way Lynne Cheney may be.