I'm quite sure Amanda will have something more cogent to say about this, but for now I'm going to leave it to TBogg, who is always my first source for concise Douchebag analysis and translation:
Shorter Ross Douthat:If Chunky Reese Witherspoon was a teenager today, she probably wouldn’t want to fuck me. I mean for reasons besides the most obvious ones. This gives me great comfort.
Don't forget to click the link embedded in that quote. And also be sure to click TBogg's name for some serious graphic fun.