My Own Private Wisconsin

or Why Glenn Beck Ought to be Anally Raped With Edward R. Murrow's Microphone.

Yesterday on his bile delivery system, Glenn Beck called the protesting teachers "useful idiots" and accused the police of having "thrown in with the Socialists."

Wisconsin was spared from this lunacy on WTDY. But setting aside the fact that this is obviously a lot of axe grinding against Wisconsin for dropping Beck for insulting Wisconsin and his shameless plugs for Fox "News", let's concentrate on the phrase "useful idiot."

Everyone who works at Fox "News" is a useful idiot of some sort at some time. For years, Alan Colmes, the token "liberal" on Hannity and Colmes was a mere foil a la Charlie McCarthy. Five nights a week, Hannity's lips moved while conservative America drank the Koolaid as Colmes sat on his lap. Megyn Kelly and the other bubble-headed bleach blonde bimbos in Rupert Murdoch's stable of libertarian lovelies is there merely to fill the horny conservative male 25-55 demographic.

But Glenn Beck's time has come and gone. He's been jettisoned from four states, including Madison, Wisconsin because he's just getting too, well, "out there" even for him. In short, he's been living in his own private Wisconsin.

Now, Glenn Beck makes $33,000,000 a year as a picked scab of the McCarthy era. Like Ann Coulter and that ilk, his job is to stoke fear and panic in people over Obama's Socialism and the impending economic crash, over George Soros, over the Tide Foundation, over the ACLU, over anything more viable than a wet firecracker that can possibly be yeasted up into a conspiracy that will unravel the fabric of this great Republic.

Here's Beck's take on his own private Wisconsin:

We talked today about the police in Seattle. We haven’t talked yet about the police in Wisconsin who are now throwing in with the socialists and the teachers. I mean some of the people who are there are just useful idiots. They don’t know what’s really going on. They don’t know that this is a coordinated effort, and the police, unfortunately in Wisconsin have now thrown in with the protesters in the capitol, and they are not forcing them to leave, which they have to leave. They’re calling this now social justice. No, that is the problem. It is justice for all. Equal justice for all, not special justice. If the Tea Parties were there and they were camped out in the rotunda, they should leave if they’re supposed to, and I’d be the first to say it, obey the law, period, but now the police aren’t forcing them out.

Now, there's about a whole jumbo jet hangar full of bullshit in that one paragraph but what sticks out the most to me is Beck claiming in a way that would make Winston Smith proud that smashing collective bargaining for public unions is "justice for all" seems even more beyond the pale than we're used to from Beck.

Apparently, to Beck and his odious ilk, "justice for all" means justice for the Tea Baggers whose presence was merely theoretical, justice for the Koch Brothers, justice for the Republican Party who wants to butt-fuck public unions and the entire middle class back into the days of Stonehenge.

No, Glenn, if the Tea Baggers were there, they wouldn't have left until they realized they were outgunned. If there was a Democratic Governor in office and he wanted to raise the pay of union workers and actually strengthen collective bargaining rights for the unions, they would've been throwing bricks through his window, they would've been holding up their own misspelled, badly Photoshopped Nazi signs and they would've been screaming like a horde of zombies on fire at the end of a George Romero movie.

We got more than a taste of that in the summer '09 during the health care town halls. What Beck seems to miss is the fact that if the Madison teacher's union and the other protesters acted like typical Tea Baggers, the police wouldn't be siding with them and would've had no choice but to eject them regardless of their private sympathies. But police and civilians are literally lying side by side in the state house every night.

Beck is obviously the useful idiot here. There's a great need for social justice in Wisconsin, as well as in Indiana, Ohio and other states now in the clutches of radical right wing Governors who are engaged, with the Koch Brothers, in their own "coordinated effort" to undermine unions and union support for Democrats in 2012. If there's any "special justice" being screamed for, it's that for union workers, not the right wing industrialists and politicians who want to strip them of their half century-long rights.

Billionaires, Tea Party-backed union busters like Scott Walker and actual useful idiots like Glenn Beck don't need justice. They thrive in the absence of justice with every union they bust, every lie they tell and every time they pollute the air, sea, sky and airwaves.

Now, I say we all march into Beck's office, bend him over his desk and shove Edward R. Murrow's microphone up his blubbery, pasty ass and ram home an unlubed message from Eddie from beyond the grave. Because Murrow wouldn't have had any patience with this fear-stoking, fat fascist any more than have, to date, four radio stations and over 300 of Beck's sponsors.