No, happy days are NOT here again

Now that I have to navigate New Jersey highways every day instead of a lovely bucolic ride through the 'burbs, my drive-time entertainment consists of flipping from one news station traffic report to another. This afternoon, in between traffic reports, the talking heads of news radio were crowing about the market's "big comeback" today. Because when you're trying to talk up the economy, a 400-plus point jump is a huge rally, even when you're still over 300 points behind where you started the week.

The real picture is far grimmer:

Even with the advance, the S&P 500 had its worst month since 2002, with a decline of 9.2 percent, and tumbled 9 percent for the quarter. The cost of borrowing dollars overnight increased the most on record after the defeat of the bailout plan.

About 1.62 billion shares changed hands on the NYSE, 15 percent more than the three-month moving average. European stocks rose, while Asian shares declined. Government bonds in the U.S. and Europe fell. The dollar climbed the most against the euro since the shared currency's 1999 introduction.

More than $1 trillion in market value was erased yesterday in the worst day for the S&P 500 since the ``Black Monday'' crash of 1987 after the House of Representatives rejected a plan designed to rid financial institutions of bad loans. President George W. Bush this morning urged passage of the legislation to prevent ``lasting damage'' to the economy.

The Dow average lost 6 percent in September, and the Nasdaq fell 12 percent. The S&P 500's retreat since the end of June was its fourth-straight quarterly decline, the longest stretch since 2001. The Dow slipped 4.4 percent and the Nasdaq tumbled 9.2 percent.

$600 Billion

The MSCI World Index of 23 developed nations dropped 12 percent this month as almost $600 billion of credit losses and writedowns at financial institutions worldwide prompted banks to hoard cash, forced Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. into bankruptcy and spurred government seizures of American International Group Inc. and the U.K.'s Bradford & Bingley Plc.

Financial companies in the S&P 500 this month traded at 1.1 times their book value, the lowest valuation since Bloomberg began tracking the data in 1995. Commercial banks in the gauge trade at 0.8 times book value, also a 13-year low.

So no matter what the cleavages at Fox Business Network in their Jimmy Choos tell you tomorrow, don't believe it. Your retirement savings are evaporating.