Great Moments in Republican Journalism, Part 341

The following is a blog post written by McCain surrogate Joe Repya at The Eagle's Nest:

I've seen some snake oil salesmen in my day, but the latest from Barack Obama has me stymied. Are there any educated, racial, thoughtful people out there that really believe that Barack Obama can eliminate the world of nuclear weapons?...

If this is Barack Obama's idea of national security and foreign policy, he may just receive a very cold reception from the leaders in the Middle East who have the wolves at their door steps. It just might be time for Obama to be optioned to the minor leagues to gain more experience to the real ways of world reality. Rookies!

This was posted on July 16th, before Obama took the world by storm on his whirlwind tour of the Middle East, Central Asia and Europe.

I'm sure that Repya didn't intend to use the word "racial." I'm also sure that he didn't mean to imply that "racial" people of color were stupid for supporting Barack Obama.

Hardly a paragraph in this short post doesn't reveal some synaptical dysfunction in this double Republican from teh Great White North, such as this gem:

I realize that there are many people who have bought into the "Change" bull feathers that Obama has been preaching, but lets get real now. This national security and foreign policy rookie wants everyone to believe that he possesses the charm and persuasiveness necessary to get Russia, China, India, Pakistan, North Korea, Britain and Israel to give up their nuclear arsenal. Oh, and he can convince Iran and Syria to not develop these weapons either.

Well, Nixon made great headway with the SALT treaties of the 70's, the culmination of a successful round of negotiations with the Soviets that was continued into the Carter administration in June of 1979. Carter, by that time, didn't have much more international diplomatic experience than Obama has now.

Kicking the last rickety branches out from under Repya's eagle's nest is the presumption that Syria and Iran are developing nuclear weapons. To date, it hasn't been proven that either country is.

Let's move on, shall we?

The height of naivety by this rank amateur has no bounds. How can rational people believe him? There are nations in this world that want to destroy western civilization as we know it. If they can't develop nuclear weapons, they will develop biological or chemical weapons. America needs a seasoned leader who understands that diplomacy only works when it is a two way street.

Oh my God, what were we thinking in forgetting the End of Days beloved by the Republican party? We should all be cowering under our beds and shitting in dark corners, hoping and praying that John McCain will be shuffling past the Oval Office at three in the morning on the way to the toilet when the phone rings.

Of course, "a seasoned leader" would be aware that you can't presume uncooperation on the part of rogue nations bent on our destruction unless you start negotiating with them in the first place. And Iran had signalled to the Bush administration back in the spring of 2003 that they were willing to begin the first diplomatic relations with the US since 1980. The Bush administration and the State Dept. spit in their eye (Powell said at the press conference, "I don't expect them to say they want diplomatic relations with us any time in the near future." But that was a bald-faced lie. Iran tried to establish peace talks as far back as April that year and we'd spit in the eyes of the Swiss diplomats who'd passed along the letter through proper diplomatic channels).

All the naive good intentions in the world will not work with these despots. Look how Kim Jong-Il played Bill Clinton for a chump by obtaining a nuclear reactor that helped him develop a nuclear bomb.

Bingo! Bullseye! And Bullshit. Remember, also, under whose watch North Korea finally acquired those nuclear weapons: George W. Bush and John Bolton, then Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security.

In Indiana today, Obama reverted back to the Bill Clinton position that the War on Terror is really a law enforcement matter requiring new bureaucracies for intelligence gathering and law enforcement infrastructure to stop terrorists. That concept gave us Al Qaeda and September 11, 2001 if my memory serves me correct.

No, actually, Reagan's CIA is what gave us al Qaida (although, to be fair, that practice was started by Jimmy Carter six months before the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan). The concept of "OK, you've covered your ass, now" is what gave us September 11, 2001. That and blowing off Richard Clarke when he tried to warn the incoming Bush administration about the real threat of the al Qaida network. That and having Susan Lindauer arrested and tried as a spy when she tried to warn said administration of the folly of attacking a nation that had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11.

And said military invasion and occupation of Iraq is about as far from being the precise surgical terror-fighting apparatus proposed by Senator Obama as you could possibly get.

But none of this matters if you're a surrogate for an old bird who thinks that Iraq and Afghanistan border and that Czechoslovakia still exists 15 years after it split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia.

But, frankly, I'm tired of Republicans who treat facts like chimpanzee mechanics throwing engine parts over their hunched shoulders, especially Republicans who were for redneck zombie Fred Thompson before they were for a dessicated reed-in-the-wind like John McCain.

(By Jurassicpork of Welcome Back to Pottersville, offending Republicans and good taste since 2005.)