Rudy Giuliani's mouth -- home of the Whopper

First, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm referring to Little Duce's nasty tendency, like that of the current president, to spout lies without batting an eye.

Rudy would have you believe that the Iranians were so frightened by looking at the Manly Gown of Ronald Reagan in 1980, that they immediately decided to release the American hostages they'd been holding.

Even if you don't believe in the October Surprise, the fact is that it wasn't Iranian boot-quaking at the prospect of the Gipper that caused them to release the hostages; it was wimpy ol' Jimmy Carter's people (sic) who engineered the release:

According to a comprehensive New York Times account from the time, the Iranians reached out to the United States in September of 1980, nearly two months before Reagan won the White House. "Washington received a secret message from the West German Government that [the Iranian negotiator] Tabatabai wanted to meet urgently in Bonn with a senior American official to discuss possible terms for releasing the hostages," the Times reported. At the first meeting in Bonn, "Mr. Tabatabai said that Iran wanted to resolve the problem quickly and that if an agreement could be achieved, the Americans would be free in a relatively short time."

In short, Reagan had nothing to do with it. All that was left was haggling over the details. Then Deputy Secretary of State Warren Christopher hoped, according to the article, that the release would come hours before Reagan took office, but there was some last-minute confusion over the details of an escrow agreement. Then, Christopher said, there was an apparent problem rounding up the hostages. "Mr. Christopher believes that the Iranians, at the last moment, had problems rounding up the hostages and this, rather than an effort to embarrass Mr. Carter, delayed their freedom until a half hour after Ronald Reagan was President," the story reports.

So why would Giuliani release an ad that is so patently misleading? The answer is simple: He is not trying to get the historian vote. He is trying to get the Daddy Party vote. He is trying to show that he is to Hillary Clinton (if not George W. Bush) what Reagan was to Carter: a tougher guy. And as anyone knows who has ever been in a bar fight, the facts don't matter much when manhood is on the line. Look tomorrow for a bunch of newspaper stories pointing out that Giuliani is misrepresenting history. Then look for Giuliani's response. It will be something like, "What did you say, pencil neck? You wanna step outside with me?"

Of course the facts won't matter one iota to Republican voters, who need their illusion of a Big Tough Man in the White House keeping them safe from the monsters lurking under the bed. Even if that tough guy is the kind of authoritarian who would beat anyone to death who dared look at him crosswise. He isn't Bernie Kerik's BFF for nothing.