My God, They Think of Everything, Don't They?

We have Scott at Poetic Leanings to thank for this one:

Dear Friend;

This message has been sent to you by a friend or a relative who has recently
disappeared along with millions and millions of people around the world.

The reason they chose to send you this letter is because they cared about you
and would like you to know the truth about where they went.

This may come as a shock to you, but the one who sent you this has been taken
up to heaven.

If you read a Bible, you will see that after chapter three in the book of Revelation,
the church is no longer mentioned as being on earth. (The church are the believers
in Jesus Christ, not the buildings in which people meet.)

In the Bible, 1 Thessalonians Chapter 4 verses 16 and 17 tell how Jesus came
to take away His church. But, you have to believe the Bible is the Word of
God in order to believe this.

I am sure that there will be a lot of speculation as to what happened to all
these people. The theories of some scientists and world leaders will have
so much credibility that most of the world will believe them.

It will sound like the truth!

But, there is only one truth. And, that truth is that Jesus Christ, God in the flesh,
came back to earth and took with Him to Heaven all who believed in Him
and made Him their Lord.

If you would like to give your life to Jesus Christ and be born again, it is
not too late. First you must pray to God saying"Father I admit I am a
sinner, and I will turn from my sin and do good. I believe that Jesus was
your son and that He came here to die for me so that my sins would be
forgiven. I ask you to forgive me and I will repent of my sins. In Jesus
name I pray."

If you just prayed that prayer and meant it with all your heart, then God
will know you as one of His own. You should now seek out others who have
also given their lives to Christ, read a Bible daily, and do your best to
bring others to Christ.

God bless you.

Well, he got it from The Daily Show, but we got it from him. So there.

But think about what a valuable service this is. By simply giving these guys your e-mail address, YOU can assure that all of your friends who were left behind know what happened to you after you're raptured to heaven to eat Cheez-Wiz and Ritz crackers by the left hand o'God. Sort of like calling your mother to let her know you got home OK.

These people are nothing if not thorough.