From the [other bloggers'] mailbag

Every now and then I get some kind of long screed written by someone who is clearly unhinged. There's a guy who added me to a list to whom he sends long, rambling e-mails about how Lyndon Johnson was a CIA operative sent to kill John Kennedy. Another one still sends long Clinton conspiracy rants. Or maybe it's the same guy. But for pure, unadulterated batshit crazy fun, it's hard to beat this one from Pam Spaulding's mailbag. A teaser:

If Adam came from the dust and Eve came from the dust there would be no incest. And what they created would be a true son and a true daughter. Now when the true son and daughter had sex to keep the population going that would be incest and they would create closer flesh. Now if Adam came from the dust and Eve came from the dust and they had sons and daughters and Adam had sex with his daughters and Eve had sex with her sons to keep the population going that would be worse than incest and they would create closer than closer flesh.

Now the way it happened was Adam had sex with his own flesh because she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Now that would be worse than worse than incest and they would create closer than closer than closer flesh. Now we are still the same way because people still create birthdefects and deformaties. Here are just a few examples. The blind, deaf, handicapped, mentally retarded, gays, lesbians, shemales, morfadites, transvestites, midgets, giants, murderers, childmolestors and many more. So we are still the same now.

When you marry someone you are marrying someone who is 3 times closer than a true brother or sister. There is no such thing as a husband and wife. It’s all made up to cover up the incest. We are nothing but Adam’s flesh having sex with Adam’s flesh and what ever you create is Adam’s flesh. We are Lucifer’s world of worse than worse than incest. Lucifer gave Adam and Eve the power to create like God gave the animals the power to create.

But Adam and Eve were not animals. With them it was incest and with the animals it was instinct. When the Bible saids be fruitfull and multiply he wasn’t talking about Adam and Eve he was talking about the animals. God designed nature so the animals would never destroy the earth. If man was not out here then nature would be the same way it was when God created it. Man only destroyes nature. The animals don’t. Now everyone believes that Jesus came from God.

Well that’s not true. Jesus came from Mary having sex with a Roman soldier while Joseph was off fighting in a war. She lied to save her own life. Back then if a woman got pregnant and she wasn’t married they would stone her to death. So she lied and said that Jesus came from God. When Jesus grew up he found out the truth from the Priests and at 33 he came out and found 12 single virgins like him and he tried to tell everyone that in the eyes of God they were all brothers and sisters and they were committing incest by getting married.

Oh, go read the whole thing. It a Grand Unifying Theory of the Bible, homosexuality, bestiality, the evolution of race, and Zero Population Growth -- a truly fine specimen of batshittery.

I'm so jealous.