Barack Obama is only seven years younger than I am, but I would never in a million years, if I were running against him for Freeholder, let alone President, dare call him the candidate of the status quo while I, with my hotflashes and spreading waistline and every-five-weeks visits to the hairdresser to have my hair colored, am the young whippernapper of a brave new world.
But then, I'm not John McCain:
McCain shared the stage with Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, who is frequently mentioned as a potential running mate. Jindal and several others spent the Memorial Day holiday at McCain's compound in Sedona, Ariz.
"A lot of people have been speculating about that," Jindal said as he warmed up a crowd of about 600 people. "I can tell you the secret now: John is a great cook."
I'm sure he is. You can't buy all of the media in the United States unless your barbecued ribs have just the right amount of sweet and spice and are fall off the bone tender. It does, however, sound like McCain is planning to see our black guy and raise us an Indian guy (I guess one pigmented guy is the same as another if you're John McCain, and Condi is just too tainted by her association with the Bush Amdinistration).
In the speech, McCain laid out his core argument, that he has a record of working for reform and offers the kind of change that the country needs, while Obama makes empty promises of a new direction and offers the wrong kind of change.
"No matter who wins this election, the direction of this country is going to change dramatically," McCain said. "But the choice is between the right change and the wrong change; between going forward and going backward."
Nothing like a speech given in front of a puke-green background when you're a sallow man trying to look youthful, eh? Or as Dr. Atta J. Turk said, "Oh, Go with the Green Background...It'll make you look like the cottage cheese in a lime jello salad" Always a good look for an older gentleman."
Here's John McCain's "record of reform":
- Voted "No" on increasing allocations for transit security (7/12/2006)
- Voted "No" on increasing access to women's health care services, including those for the purpose of preventing unintended pregnancy (3/7/05)
- Voted "No" on allowing those injured by flu vaccines to sue (5/3/2006)
- Voted "Yes" on prohibiting federal funding to groups that perform abortions, even if those groups are primary providers of women's health care in a given area. (10/18/07). Interesting side note; The sponsor of this bill was Sen. David Vitter (R-Hookers)
- Yesterday's speech was in New Orleans -- a place for which on 11/7/2005, McCain voted "No" on amending the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to provide tax benefits for areas affected by Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and Wilma.
- Voted "Yes" on a bill to expand FISA to allow electronic surveillance of foreigners outside the U.S. without a court order and grant immunity to electronic communication surveillance providers
- And Mr. Maverick voted "No" on a bill that increases regulations on members of Congress regarding lobbyists and donations.
Want more? It's all here.
Now, I'm in no way convinced that in this topsy-turvy world in which a president got away with taking us to war based on lies and convincing us that Guy B was behind the September 11 attacks barely months after telling us that it was Guy A, the increasingly tired, doddering, and dougty-seeming McCain won't be able to get away with convincing enough people that he, the white guy from the privileged family with the rich wife and the eight homes, is the agent of change while the black guy, who was raised by a single mom and went to college on scholarships, is the same old, same old. So it's going to be our job to get the truth out there. Because not even John McCain gets to make up his own facts.
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