Blackface in Cleats

ESPN:

Owens fined 'thousands' for videotape TD celebration

IRVING, Texas -- After seeing the videotape of Terrell Owens' latest touchdown celebration, the NFL office wasn't laughing.

Owens said Wednesday he was fined "a good chunk of money" -- which he later defined as thousands of dollars -- for a celebration that included him using the goal post and football to poke fun at the New England Patriots' spying scandal during Dallas' 37-20 victory over Miami this past Sunday.

A league spokesman said the fine was $7,500.

"It wasn't even the fact I used the goal post as a prop," Owens said. "They said I used the ball."

Beyond being confused about what he can and can't do, Owens is frustrated by the league's policing of end-zone scenes.

"It's kind of hard to understand the rules," he said. "It's like you can't do nothing no more. ... Dude, it's like they're trying to find any way to take fun out of the game. So I'm kind of limited right now as far as what I can do."

T.O. plotted his celebration days before, after getting suggestions from callers on his weekly radio show. He said he likes making them timely.

Now, though, he's going to be more careful with what he does.

"Nothing's worth getting a fine for," he said.

Owens said he'll consider an appeal, but "it may not even be worth it."

How about saving his act until he gets to the sideline?

"I guess so," he said. "Next, they're going to be saying you can't go to the sidelines."

When the NFL passed the rule banning “prolonged and excessive celebrations” on the field or in the end zone, it would have been simpler—-and more honest--to call it the “Terrell Owens” rule.

You do know who Terrell Owens is, right? The World's Greatest Wide Receiver? If you're not sure, ask him. He'll be happy to grab a loudspeaker, stand in front of you and tell you how incredible he is over and over again until your ears drop off and whisper, “No mas, no mas” before they crumble into powder.

Yeah, I know this new rules also targets loudmouth narcissists like Chad Johnson and Steve Smith. However, when you compare their antics to the bizarro stunts Owens has pulled, those guys will just have to settle for a “Honorary Mention”. Hey, T.O. earned his plaque in the Egomaniacs Hall of Fame as a 49er when he celebrated a touchdown at Texas Stadium by dancing on the team's star logo at midfield. (But I'm sure Owens conveniently forgot how Dallas Cowboy George Teague smashed into him like a runaway truck when he tried to do it a second time. Ouch.)

Anyway, some fans, players and a few ESPN talking heads aren't happy about this. It's another example of the No Fun League turning the flamboyant rebels who make the game exciting to watch into bloodless automatons, they say. What's the big deal?

Well, if you ask me, one reason is that whenever I see these wanna-be comics do their routines (using a Sharpie to autograph the pigskin, talking on a cellphone after a touchdown or grabbing pom-poms and dancing with the cheerleaders), I always come to the same conclusion: They're not funny. Nobody's gonna be the next Chris Rock. None of them are quitting their day jobs to host a comedy special on HBO.

If any of these football players were contestants on America Idol, Simon would joyfully bludgeon them into pulp with a wisecrack gift-wrapped in barbed wire.

Other than sadists who want to watch their drunk friends loudly mutilate Bruce Springsteen's “Born In The U.S.A.” nobody goes to a karaoke bar to listen to music. So, applying the same logic, when I'm watching football, I don't need to see the amateur theatrics that unnecessarily slow down the game and piss people off. I just want to watch football, all right?

But the other reason why the media's canonization of T.O. bothers me so much is seeing the latest example of a contemporary African-American athlete who's controversial for the wrong reasons. And I believe there's a racist element of White America that likes it that way.

Although Terrell Owens hasn't kept his mouth shut, he also doesn't say anything that would cause those rich white men to stop signing his paychecks. In T.O.'s dictionary, what the word “controversy” means is being greedy, obnoxious and arrogant.

You want to shut Terrell Owens up? Ask him about Katrina, or the Jena Six or the war in Iraq.

Yeah, Owens pretends to be a snarling, bloodthirsty Rottweiler, but when his corporate masters are tired of the incessant barking and whack him on the nose, he gets quiet and does his business on the newspapers like he's supposed to. Do you think Rush Limbaugh smiled when he saw how T.O. betrayed Donovan McNabb by saying “I wasn't the guy who got tired in the Super Bowl” and unwittingly reinforced every negative stereotype about African-American quarterbacks? Way to go, Owens! Why should a racist bust his ass when you'll do the work for him instead, right? McNabb wasn't wrong when he called it a “black on black” crime.

No, T.O. ain't no rebel. Not to me, anyway.

He's housebroken.