Your chicken is full of plastic -- but don't worry, there's no risk to you

The FDA finally admits that the food supply is compromised:

At least 2.5 million broiler chickens from an Indiana producer were fed pet food scraps contaminated with the chemical melamine and subsequently sold for human consumption, federal health officials reported yesterday.

Hundreds of other producers may have similarly sold an unknown amount of contaminated poultry in recent months, they added, painting a picture of much broader consumption of contaminated feed and food than had previously been acknowledged in the widening pet food scandal.

Officials emphasized that they do not believe the tainted chickens -- or the smaller number of contaminated pigs that were reported to have entered the human food supply -- pose risks to people who ate them.

"We do not believe there is any significant threat of human illness from this," said David Acheson, the Food and Drug Administration's chief medical officer. FDA Commissioner Andrew von Eschenbach named Acheson yesterday the agency's new "food czar" -- officially, assistant commissioner for food protection.

None of the farm animals is known to have become sick from the food, and very little of the contaminant is suspected of having accumulated in their tissue. Thus, no recall of any products that may still be on store shelves or in people's freezers is planned, officials said.

Isn't it just possible that none are "known to have become sick from the food" because they were slaughtered before they could show symptoms? As for "very little of the contaminant is suspected of having accumulated in their tissue", what does "suspected" mean? On what basis is the FDA making this claim? Did Jesus tell them so?

Nonetheless, 100,000 Indiana chickens that ate the melamine-laced food and are still alive have been quarantined and will be destroyed as a precautionary measure -- as will any other animals that turn up as the investigation continues to expand.

So let me see if I'm understanding correctly: The millions of melamine-tainted chickens currently in the food supply, the ones that post "no risk", are going to remain there, but any other chickens that ate it are going to be destroyed? Well, which one is it, guys? If there's no risk, then why not pump a few more plastic-filled chickens into the food supply? I mean, after all, if you're going to do what's necessary to not affect the profits of meat producer, why not go whole hog -- or whole chicken, in this case? Let them keep on feeding them scrap pet food and selling the meat to American families for parents to feed their kids. Let them eat melamine nuggests, right? After all, we won't know exactly what the effects of melamine are until we test it on your children.