GOP to Americans: Here's a bribe of two tanks of gas. Now shut the hell up.

The Greedy Old Party doesn't have a patent on lameass proposals for dealing with skyrocketing gas prices in an election year, it just seems that way:

Senate Republicans tried on Thursday to get the upper hand in the escalating political battle over high gasoline prices by proposing a $100 rebate for taxpayers and by suggesting that they might increase taxes on oil-industry profits.

The Republican proposal also called for opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil production, a provision sure to draw opposition from many Democrats and even some Republicans.

"The American consumer is the one that needs the break today, and we need to be taking steps to make sure that they aren't emptying their wallet every time they fill their tank," said Senator John Thune, Republican of South Dakota, as the leadership unveiled its legislative response to an issue quickly taking over the Congressional agenda.

These guys have had a boner for ANWR for years, and the fact that it's going to take ten years to get anything out of there and even then there's only at best six months' supply seems not to occur to these guys, who like alcoholics, are looking to do something....anything....to get gasoline prices down.

But as I said, it isn't just Republicans who are being silly. Democrats aren't a whole lot better. Here in New Jersey, Gov. Corzine is channeling wingnut state Sen. Gerald Cardinale, who has been trumpeting the virtues of self-serve gasoline for years:

Gov. Jon Corzine said he may consider lifting a 57-year-old law that makes the state only one of two where people can't pump their own gas.

A repeal of the ban against self-service gas stations may save consumers as much as 5 cents a gallon, said state Sen. Gerald Cardinale. Lower prices would soften the impact of a gas- tax increase, which Corzine hasn't ruled out as a way to fund road and bridge work.

''It's worthy of a debate," Corzine, a Democrat who took office in January, said last week in response to questions about eliminating the self-serve ban. ''It's certainly one of those things that one might want to pair with" a gas tax increase.

Now I have no beef against self-serve gas. In fact, I often pump my own even at my local corner station; mostly because the very nice man who owns it and who does the mechanical work on my Civic, is perennially short-handed at his very busy station. He knows I used to work weekends at a gas station in my 20's, he knows I live in the neighborhood and won't pump and run, and he knows I know what I'm doing. But I recently drove to North Carolina, and at every station I stopped at along the way, and also IN North Carolina, I paid more for gasoline than I pay here. So the idea that distributors are going to drop gas prices if self-serve is initiated, is preposterous.

As for the GOP proposal to hand off small bribes to offset the price of gas, well, that's perhaps the most ridiculous notion of all.

The real problem, which no one wants to address, is that oil is a finite resource and there is increasing worldwide demand for it. Back in the 1970's, we had a chance to really start weaning ourselves from oil; and indeed, the now-reviled president at the time, Jimmy Carter, recognized this need and tried to start addressing it via research into alternative energy sources and reduced consumption. As soon as Ronald Reagan took office in 1981, it was Party Like It's 1999 time, and that was the end of energy conservation. When this bunch took over in 2001, you had a vice president who insinuated that conservation was for pussies, and that real men guzzle as much gasoline as possible. After 9/11, people got the idea that the best way to thumb their noses at Osama Bin Laden was to buy the biggest, baddest, most gas-guzzling SUV possible, slap a yellow ribbon magnet on it, and proceed to dump as much cash as possible into the pockets of the Saudi oil sheikhs.

I don't like paying $3.00 for gas either; and I do think that a windfall profits tax is in order. But if $3.00 gas is what it takes to make thickheaded American Idiots™ realize that the party's over and we can either act now to make the hangover less painful or else be in for some very hard times, I'm all for it.