The Dog Issue

So amidst a global economic collapse, a Russian president playing "Mine's bigger" already, and two disastrous wars, once again the press wants to talk about trivia -- in this case, the impending Obama puppy.

It's understandable that people would find this notion captivating. The very thought of Sasha Obama with a puppy presents potential for Cute Overload of a degree that could cause heads of otherwise normal people to explode from an overdose of adorableness.

Of course it would send a positive message if the Obamas were to adopt a shelter dog, except that if the Obamas showed up at most animal shelters, they'd be unlikely to be allowed to adopt. The Obama family consists of a child barely out of toddlerhood, a child with allergies, and two parents who will have demanding jobs the likes of which none of us can imagine. But as we found out when the Clintons moved to the White House with a cat, there is a perception that "real Americans" have dogs, not cats.

This of course will come as news to the millions of us who have discovered the joys of being house servant to a demanding or bossy feline, but it's an unfortunate reality.

So it's important that the Obamas choose the right dog. The snarky, sick-sense-of-humor part of me thinks that a West Highland White Terrier would be the perfect "anti-Barney":


...except that Westies, while fantastic dogs, are not known for being patient with children. But most terriers have "hair" rather than "fur", and while this means they need grooming, it also means that they are usually fine for people with allergies.

The allergy problem means that the Retriever breed is out of the question, which is too bad, because there is nothing in the world cuter than a Lab puppy or a Golden puppy -- not even Sasha Obama.

The Bichon Frise is also hypo-allergenic, and better with kids than a Westie:



But the Bichon is such a frou-frou dog, however cute it is, and do we really want to listen to the wingnuts talk about the Obama's gay dog for the next eight years?

No, I think this is the perfect dog for the Obama family:



That, my friends, is an apricot standard poodle, unclipped. Not a "labradoodle", which is still going to blow at least some of its coat the way a Labrador does, but a standard poodle. If you take a poodle and leave it like this, or just clip the paws and the face, and leave a mustache, and don't do those silly show clips, the poodle is an awesome dog. They're smart, affectionate, and have terrific temperaments. They are high-energy without being frenetic, and highly entertaining. And a standard poodle is big enough to be nobody's frou-frou.