Because Green Bean Casserole is nauseating: Middle Eastern Chopped Salad

I'm not sure this salad is Greek. To me, Greek salad is romaine, cucumber, tomato, bell pepper, dolmades, onion, black olives, and feta. This is more like Turkish coban salad -- no romaine. This means it will keep for about 3-4 days in the fridge -- if it lasts that long. But nothing says "Thanksgiving" quite like a

Take 2 nice cucumbers(unpeeled), a pint of grape tomatoes, a few stalks of celery, a bell pepper if you have one (I didn't), and a red onion:

Take out that good sharp knife that scares you to death. You know the one I mean -- the one you bought with the Bed Bath and Beyond coupon because you decided you needed a good chef's knife and then realized it was so sharp it was terrifying so you usually use your old dull one instead.

Cut the cucumber into 1/2" to 3/4" chunks.

Cut the larger grape tomatoes in half lengthwise.

Dice the onion fine.

Slice the celery on an angle.

Cut the bell pepper into strips.

Put all in a bowl and toss with some nice kalamata olives if you have them, or a small can of sliced California black olives, drained -- if that's all you have (or if you are trying to sneak them past someone who claims not to like olives). Chop up some parsley if you have it, or you can use dried parsley flakes that are still green.

Make a dressing of approximately (adjust to taste):

- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
- 1 Tsp. oregano
- 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
- juice from 1/2 lemon
- enough sugar to take just the edge off the bite, about 1 tsp.
- Freshly ground salt and pepper to taste.

Mix well with whisk and pour over salad. Add an 8-oz. container of crumbled feta and serve:

(Does anyone actually make that green bean casserole, anyway? Green beans, cream of mushroom soup and those ersatz "fried onions"? Yuck. Eat this salad instead.)