Adriano Zumbo, Balmain

I think I'm in love.I've been a late arrival to the Adriano Zumbo online party, he the cherished darling of swooning sweet-toothed food bloggers all over Sydney. It doesn't take long for me to fall head over heels myself.This small but amazing patissierie is housed in a narrow shop on Darling Street, a few cellophaned gingerbread houses greeting you at the entrance. Barely wide enough to fit two

Let's resolve for 2009 to never, ever listen to conservative economists ever again

This one comes to us via the inimitable Driftglass, and as you watch these bozos giggling at Peter Schiff like Maureen Dowd making fun of Barack Obama, you understand why the word "douchenozzle" was coined:

Why They Hate Us

I'm not talking about America-hating Muslim terrorists. I'm talking about red state Americans who look at the New York metropolitan area and see a bunch of self-indulgent Yuppies.

But if all they know of those of us who live in this area is people like Alex Kuczynski, can you really blame them for thinking this way?

Alex Kuczynski, for the uninitiated, is a style editor at the New York Times and author of Beauty Junkies: Inside Our $15 Billion Obsession With Cosmetic Surgery. She wrote this book after a Restylane injection gone terribly wrong, which kept her from attending the post-funeral tribute luncheon in memory of her friend and fellow journalist Jerry Nachman:

As she grieved, Kuczynski faced a dilemma: the service was the same day as her regular skin-rejuvenating session with her plastic surgeon. Appointments were hard to get and she didn't dare skip one. So she decided to squeeze in a little microdermabrasion between the funeral and a tribute afterward at a Manhattan restaurant.

What happened next was not pretty. After the funeral, Kuczynski sped across town to her doctor, who blasted her skin with crystals that swept away dead cells. Then she asked for a quick injection of Restylane, a mucouslike substance that she hoped would plump up her upper lip. The needle had barely been withdrawn when Kuczynski felt a strange mass on her face. Her lip was so grotesquely swollen (eventually reaching the size of a yam) that she missed the tribute and barely left home for the next five days.

Need I say more?

Well, Kuczynski clearly needed to, because in the Magazine section of tomorrow's Sunday New York Times, she treats us to page after page of justification as to why hiring a surrogate to gestate a baby conceived of her egg and her husband's sperm doesn't make her a "fake mother." No, Alex, hiring a surrogate doesn't make you a fake mother, but when I look at the photograph of your immobile, tight face and your Social X-Ray body next to the very real beauty of the very real woman who you hired because you had fertility problems, I find myself wishing with all my heart that little Maxime Dudley was going to be raised by the woman who gestated him instead of the narcissistic navel gazer who provided the DNA and this ridiculous article.

In this section, Kuczynski explains why it was so important that the child be of her and her husband's gene pool:

We had the money to pay. My husband is a very successful investor; I have made a healthy income for a writer. We were lucky in that we could afford to do what most infertile couples cannot. The questions for us were philosophical. I suppose I could have decided that it was my destiny to remain childless, that it was somehow meant to be. But I hate the phrase “meant to be,” loaded with its small, smug assumptions, its apathy and fake stoicism. I believe that where things can be fixed, they should be fixed. In our case, reproductive technology could make it relatively easy for us to have our biological child.

And, at that moment, having a biologically related child felt necessary. What began as wistful longing in my 20s had blistered into a mad desire that seemed to defy logic. The compulsion to create our own bloodline seemed medieval, and I knew we could enjoy our marriage — our lives — without a child. Yet I couldn’t argue myself out of my desire. A child with our genes would be a part of us. My husband’s face would be mirrored in our child’s face, proof that our love not only existed, but could be recreated beyond us. Die without having created a life, and die two deaths: the death of yourself, and the death of the immense opportunity that is a child.

Now perhaps I'm not in a position to judge, because I never wanted children. Some people should not be parents, and I am one of them. Because of my own childhood issues, I detest conflict of any kind and I have trouble coping when people are angry with me. This of course is the kiss of death for effective parenting, so it's fortunate that I never suffered the insanity of baby hunger -- a hunger that has led so many people I know to heartbreak of various kinds. But it's always seemed to me that wanting to have a baby ought to be about wanting to raise a family, and that if all you see is a little baby wrapped in a blanket who's a perfect reflection of yourself, that ought to raise some serious narcissism flags in yourself and you ought to examine just why it is you want to do this. Because at some point that baby is going to start becoming his own person and he's not going to want to be just a little mirror image of mom 'n' dad.

I know a woman who tried for years to become pregnant, and when she finally found out that her eggs were the problem, she conceived IVF twins with donor eggs, and now is the doting mother of two three-year-old girls who have no biological connection to her. Those girls are not a little mirror of herself and she doesn't care. I know a guy whose adopted children are from Bulgaria and have no resemblance whatsoever to him. And he's crazy about them. I also know a woman who became pregnant easily at the exact moment she wanted to, timed her children exactly the way she wanted to, and they are the spitting image of her and her husband. All of these people are great parents. I wish all parents were like them.

But when a woman who was so addicted to cosmetic surgery that she had to skip a repast luncheon because she couldn't skip her scheduled visit with her plastic surgeon decides that her baby has to be a blood representatative to carry on after she is gone, I think she's exaggerating her own importance. Because when it comes right down to it, does anyone really care that we existed after a generation or two? Aside from those who meticulously document every moment of family life, painstakingly maintaining family records so future generations have these records to provide a sense of continuity, just how long are any of us remembered after we're gone? Two generations? Three?

The unfortunate reality is that we are here for the blink of an eye and then we're gone, and our descendants are similarly here for the blink of an eye. And the cosmos doesn't care that we're here. So unless you want to change the dirty diapers and read "Goodnight Moon" and help with homework and pack lunches and then deal with the sullen teenager because of the moments of joy your kids give you, you're kidding yourself if you think having children gives you immortality.

But it gets worse, as Kuczynski's surrogate's pregnancy progresses:

Later in the fall, Cathy went to Las Vegas with her husband, who was attending a conference. I took the news badly. My tiny child — now that there was a sex, an identity, I could think of him as a child — was out there in Vegas at a craps table. I worried about the flight and whether the pressure would harm him. The thought crossed my mind to ask Cathy if it was really necessary to go, but I knew I couldn’t. I had given her my baby, and I would have to give her my trust as well. I hated giving up control, but experience had proved that I had even less control over my own uterus, and trying to exercise any measure of authority over Cathy would cause both of us only grief. At the very least, Cathy’s body was more reliable than mine. This was the pitiable truth I had to embrace.

And that wasn’t always easy. When Cathy and I went for doctor’s visits, she gave me the clearest sonogram picture to take home. I would drive back to New York, scan the image and send it out to family members and close friends — except that I would crop Cathy’s and the clinic’s names out of the frame. Even though they knew I wasn’t the pregnant one, I didn’t want them to be confused — who is this Cathy person? Where is Abington, Pa.? And for the forgetful ones: Why is Alexandra having her baby there? But more important, I wanted them to see my profile in the picture, not her name. It was immature, puerile, like a seventh-grade girl blacking out her nemesis’ picture in the yearbook. I wanted her identity to disappear and mine to take its place.

[snip]

AS THE MONTHS PASSED, something curious happened: The bigger Cathy was, the more I realized that I was glad — practically euphoric — I was not pregnant. I was in a daze of anticipation, but I was also secretly, curiously, perpetually relieved, unburdened from the sheer physicality of pregnancy. If I could have carried a child to term, I would have. But I carried my 10-pound dog in a BabyBjörn-like harness on hikes, and after an hour my back ached.

Cathy was getting bigger, and the constraints on her grew. I, on the other hand, was happy to exploit my last few months of nonmotherhood by white-water rafting down Level 10 rapids on the Colorado River, racing down a mountain at 60 miles per hour at ski-racing camp, drinking bourbon and going to the Super Bowl.

I had several friends around my age — 37 and up — who were pregnant with their first children at this time, and I was amazed at how their feet swelled like loaves of bread. They were haggard. They seemed sallow and tired, and they let their hair go gray. I decided to call all of us Gummies — grown-up mommies — with the implication that some of us were so old we could have dentures.

I would soon be a Gummy. I just didn’t have to do the hard part. I had the natal equivalent of a hall pass, a free ride, an automatic upgrade to first class. According to the expectations that govern modern womanhood, I should have been moaning to a shrink or to my girlfriends over cosmos about my inadequacies. But I tried hard not to see myself as a failure. I allowed myself the anguish of the moment when Cathy was playing my piano, and after that I vowed, not entirely successfully, to refuse more self-punishment. I had been through so much — so much death and sorrow — that the gift of Cathy carrying my baby, shouldering the burden of the pregnancy, transferring all the fear of failure to her shoulders, was liberating.

And this is where my reaction to this article went from snickering amusement to outright disgust. Because here is this woman, a trophy wife of a significantly older man, clearly terrified of getting older and losing her looks, expressing relief that she isn't the one carrying this child because she has enough trouble shlepping her little yappy dog around in her elevator building, and besides, those pregnant women just let themselves GO so....

Of course it's good enough to have swollen ankles and lank hair if it means you get to be a womb for a wealthy woman whose face doesn't move. Meanwhile, this is the kind of woman "Cathy", the surrogate, is:

She treated me with warmth and respect. She called me Mama with cheer and affection in her voice. After a doctor’s appointment in Pennsylvania, we went shopping at a local mall and stopped for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Sipping cold water made the baby wiggle. Whenever Cathy took a sip, she would press my hand to her belly.

“His butt is right there,” she would tell me. She wasn’t condescending. She wasn’t pushy. I owed her so much, and yet it was she who sent me a birthday present — a ceramic candle holder that glowed with the words “Happy Birthday” when a candle was lighted inside — when she was four months pregnant. And when the baby was born, she was the one who had thought to bring a gift for me to the hospital: a statuette of a mother, father and child holding one another.

Alex Kuczynski, a control freak of the first order, doesn't deserve the kindness and generousity of this woman:

I embodied several facets of femininity. She could be seen as the fertile, glowing mother-to-be as well as the hemorrhoidal, flatulent, lumpen pregnant woman. I could be the erotic, perennially sensual nullipara, the childbirth virgin, and yet I was also the dried-up crone with a uterus full of twigs. She got rosy cheeks and huge, shiny stretch marks. I went to Bikram yoga and was embarrassed to tell the receptionist — in front of the pregnant 20-something yogini in short shorts — to pull me out of class in case my baby was about to be born out of another woman’s body.

I imagined that Cathy rested peacefully, conscious that something was being manufactured inside her. Meanwhile, I began a silent, steady freakout, fearing that I might miss the birth of the person who would most likely be my only child. What if Cathy went into labor in the middle of the night? One of the doormen in my New York City apartment building stoked my anxiety by telling me that his wife went into labor and gave birth 15 minutes later. My baby was two hours away! What if it was the middle of the night and the garage where I kept my car was locked?

What if this baby was born in such a way as to not fit into everything Alex Kuczynski wanted? What if she has to skip a yoga class? OMG, what happens when the kid is two and wants to be carried upstairs and weighs more than a little yappy dog?

I weep for this child. I weep for the life he could have had with kind and warm and generous people, and the life he's going to have with the people who provided his DNA -- a life of wealth and privilege on Park Avenue and all the consumer goods a kid could want -- but who already is being raised by a "baby nurse" who, you guessed it, is a woman of color -- someone to change the diapers and hold him when he cries and do all the stinky, smelly, unpleasant things that are part of being a parent of a baby because Mom is busy counting her crowsfeet and writing without any sense of irony in a review of Alec Baldwin's latest book about how children get lost in a divorce.

We can only hope little Maxime Dudley doesn't similarly get lost in a world of nannies and housekeepers and doormen, even with his perfect, rich, narcissistic, immobile-faced mother holding him up as another trophy of a privileged life. Or perhaps lost himself in a divorce case.

Perhpas this is why the Bush Administration wants to wreck the middle class

Because if there are no other options for employment, the military will be a more attractive option for America's youth:

Some of the largest investment firms on Wall Street are gone. The country's auto industry is on the verge of collapse. Banks are shedding jobs. But in these doom-and-gloom times, there is someone who's hiring: your local military recruiter.

The economic downturn and rising unemployment rate are making the military a more attractive option, Pentagon officials say. In some cases, the peace of mind that comes with good benefits and a regular paycheck is overcoming concerns about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which any new enlistee is likely to join.

"There's no way to sugarcoat it: We're a nation at war," said Lt. Col. Michael Bennett, who commands the Maryland Army National Guard's recruiting battalion. "But we offer a stability of income that a lot of employers can't guarantee right now."

Cannon fodder -- the career choice of last resort. For these odds you might as well work night shift at Wal-Mart.

To all those who trampled Jdimytai Damour to death yesterday: This is who you murdered

I'm haunted by the murder of Jdimytai Damour yesterday by a thundering mob of greedy bargain-hunters in Valley Stream, New York yesterday. I find myself wondering why a temporary worker was the one opening the doors. When I was in retail in the late 1970's, it was always a store manager who unlocked the doors in the morning. Why did this task fall to this man? Did the management of this Wal-Mart store expect this kind of stempede and set him up to be the fall guy?

Here is the man who sacrificed his life yesterday so that a bunch of soulless pigs could grab up as much cheap crap as they could carry:

Jdimytai Damour, 34, the Wal-Mart worker who died Friday after shoppers stampeded in a Valley Stream store, was an easygoing, helpful man who loved poetry, friends and family said.

Family friend Ronald Jean Myrthil, of Bridgeport, Conn., said Damour came to pick him up after he had staggered across the Brooklyn Bridge, fleeing Manhattan on Sept. 11, 2001. Another time, when Myrthil needed to go to the hospital, Damour took him.

Damour's father, a Queens school bus driver, is at a loss to understand his son's fate.

"I don't know what happened to him. He's gone. Only God knows what happened to him," said his father, Ogera Charles, of Fresh Meadows.

A Freeport High School graduate, Damour attended Nassau Community College for a year, his father said.

His family roots are in Haiti, and he had a brother and four sisters, said Nicole Jean, 60, a Rosedale woman who described herself as a close family friend. Damour's mother, who lives in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, is flying up this weekend.

Myrthil, who is Jean's son, said Damour was a big man and had no apparent health problems. Damour did construction work for a time and installed fences, he said.

Damour loved poetry, and he was a fan of the late novelist Donald Goines, the friend said.

He was easygoing - a nice guy, Myrthil said. "A very good kid.

Max Brenner Chocolate Bar, Bondi Junction

So even though we'd just eaten half our body weight in ribs at Kelly's next door, it would have been impossible to head home without a pit stop at Max Brenner for dessert.Feeling a little bloated, we did somewhat virtuously agree to "go for a little walk" before dessert. In reality this meant a short stroll down to a dead end, use of a lift to descend a few floors, then a slow meander around the

When you establish an anti-science environment, this is what happens

If you have a president who barely knows what "the Google" is; if you are governed by people who believe science is a bad thing because it might disprove Biblical teachings; if you're going to outsource all your information systems jobs, then IT is going to become far less attractive as a career choice and you are going to be susceptible to cyberattacks like this:

Senior military leaders took the exceptional step of briefing President Bush this week on a severe and widespread electronic attack on Defense Department computers that may have originated in Russia -- an incursion that posed unusual concern among commanders and raised potential implications for national security.

Defense officials would not describe the extent of damage inflicted on military networks. But they said that the attack struck hard at networks within U.S. Central Command, the headquarters that oversees U.S. involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan, and affected computers in combat zones. The attack also penetrated at least one highly protected classified network.

Military computers are regularly beset by outside hackers, computer viruses and worms. But defense officials said the most recent attack involved an intrusive piece of malicious software, or "malware," apparently designed specifically to target military networks.

"This one was significant; this one got our attention," said one defense official, speaking on condition of anonymity when discussing internal assessments.

Although officials are withholding many details, the attack underscores the increasing danger and potential significance of computer warfare, which defense experts say could one day be used by combatants to undermine even a militarily superior adversary.

Bush was briefed on the threat by Navy Adm. Michael G. Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Mullen also briefed Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates.

Military electronics experts have not pinpointed the source or motive of the attack and could not say whether the destructive program was created by an individual hacker or whether the Russian government may have had some involvement. Defense experts may never be able to answer such questions, officials said.

The defense official said the military also had not learned whether the software's designers may have been specifically targeting computers used by troops in Afghanistan and Iraq.

It's interesting that briefing the president about such a cyberattack is regarded as "an exceptional step." It further underscores George W. Bush's growing irrelevance, and the entire episode underscores the fact that this country's Captain Smith has abandoned ship in the first lifeboat with his buddies the Saudi royal family and top corporate executives from the financial industry, leaving the hundreds of millions of passengers on Titanic America to drown on their own.

But the larger picture is just how unprepared the military is to deal with such cyberattacks. Whether the military reflects the Administration's willful ignorance about technology, or if it is a recruiting problem remains to be seen. But after seeing jobs requiring a computer science degree outsourced by the millions to low-wage countries, after watching law firms teach companies how to post fake ads for jobs for which no one person could possibly be qualified so that they can justify outsourcing, after watching their forebears pushed out of the IT job market starting at age 35, it's easy to understand why computer science undergraduate enrollment has dropped by half since 2000.

Some of this is attributable to the dot-com crash, but that doesn't explain an entire generation of millennials saying "No thanks" to the industry that brought them their laptops and computer games. It's hard to justify spending four years and six figures getting an education for a career in which whatever programming languages you know, they aren't the one the employer wants (and he doesn't realize that you can learn the syntax in a matter of weeks), where you are regarded as replaceable by someone in the Phillippines who can be paid 1/10 of what you're being paid, and where you are pushed out as being too old by the time you're 35.

Perhaps this flight away from computer science will change now that we will have a president whose very election was aided by the geeks who ran his internet operation. But until then, the computing infrastructure is vulnerable, because the so-called leaders who rely on it don't even know how to turn the damn things on.

Who knew it was "Foster's Home for Imaginary Internet Traditions"?

I've seen this video about six times and it's the second most surreal example of mutant culture of the entire weekend (the first being Stephen Colbert's clearly Subgenius-inspired Christmas special):

If Macy's Rickrolled the entire country this year, does that mean that next year's parade will have a Happycat balloon?

Stuffed Stuff with Heavy: Authentic Greek Mother-in-Law Pastitso

I'm not sure that this involves any less labor than making a turkey and six side dishes, but the cleanup is a heck of a lot easier, and it microwaves a lot better than day-old turkey.

First, chop up a medium onion and mince a few cloves of garlic. In my house "a few cloves of garlic" means "At Least Four and Usually More", so adjust yours accordingly:

(Note the artistic placement of the Scary Knife.)

Sauté the onion with about 1/3 cup of water until just soft, then add 1 Tbs. oil (I use olive oil), 2 tsp. salt (to taste) and the garlic.

Saute for a few minutes and remove from pan to a bowl.

Take 1-1/2 lbs. good lean ground beef. I use Laura's Lean Beef -- no antibiotics, no hormones, humanely farmed and slaughtered.

Crumble the meat into the hot pan and brown well.

Yes, that really is a harvest gold 1970's cooktop.

Line a colander with paper towels and drain the meat into it:

If you like, you can then remove the paper towel and rinse the meat to remove more fat. I do this, and it tastes just fine.

Return the meat to the pan. Add 1/2 tsp. freshly ground pepper, 1 tsp. sugar, 1 Tbs. red wine vinegar, and 2 8-oz. cans tomato sauce.

Now come the spices that give this dish its flavor:

1 cinnamon stick, whole
5 whole cloves
1/2 tsp. nutmeg (freshly grated is better)
2 bay leaves
1 tsp. powdered cinnamon

Stir it together, cover, reduce heat to very low and cook for about an hour. When done, the meat mixture will look like this:

Boil a large pot of salted water. Add 1-1/2 lbs. ziti. I use whole wheat penne, you can use whatever tube pasta you like. Cook 10-15 minutes. Drain in colander, run cold water over it and drain well.

Add 1 tsp. powdered cinnamon, 1/4 tsp. nutmeg, 4 heaping Tbs. grated romano cheese (parmesan is OK too). Stir to combine:

Spray a large oblong casserole dish with oil spray and sprinkle the bottom with bread crumbs. Layer ziti, sauce, ziti, sauce, and finish with a layer of ziti.

Now take a large saucepan and add:

1 quart milk
1 stick butter (Smart Balance half-butter works fine)
1/2 tsp. salt

Let the milk boil and the butter melt.

In a glass or measuring cup, mix 2 Tbs. flour and 2 Tbs. cornstarch with an additional 1/2 cup milk. In a separate bowl, beat 2 eggs well:

Now add 1/2 cup farina and turn the burner down to low. Yes, you will have to buy a whole box of this stuff in order to make this, but that's what the Web is for -- to find recipes for crap you have laying around the house. Farina has all the good stuff like fiber beaten out of it, but it supposedly is rich in iron. Or you can just decide you will make pastitso about a dozen times this winter.

Anyway, put in the farina and mix slowly for five minutes. The sauce will look like this:

Add the flour/cornstarch/milk mixture and stir. Mix some of this cream sauce into the eggs, then pour the egg mixture in, stirring constantly with a whisk. When the sauce becomes very thick, remove from heat and pour over the casserole. Top with romano or parmesan cheese.

Bake 35-45 minutes at 400 degrees. When the top starts to brown, it's done:

This is a very rich dish, for which the word "savory" was invented. The sweetness of the cinnamon and nutmeg adds a richness to the flavor of the meat, and the creamy sauce just screams "comfort food." It's quite labor-intensive, as you can see, but it's worth it.

Because Green Bean Casserole is nauseating: Middle Eastern Chopped Salad

I'm not sure this salad is Greek. To me, Greek salad is romaine, cucumber, tomato, bell pepper, dolmades, onion, black olives, and feta. This is more like Turkish coban salad -- no romaine. This means it will keep for about 3-4 days in the fridge -- if it lasts that long. But nothing says "Thanksgiving" quite like a

Take 2 nice cucumbers(unpeeled), a pint of grape tomatoes, a few stalks of celery, a bell pepper if you have one (I didn't), and a red onion:

Take out that good sharp knife that scares you to death. You know the one I mean -- the one you bought with the Bed Bath and Beyond coupon because you decided you needed a good chef's knife and then realized it was so sharp it was terrifying so you usually use your old dull one instead.

Cut the cucumber into 1/2" to 3/4" chunks.

Cut the larger grape tomatoes in half lengthwise.

Dice the onion fine.

Slice the celery on an angle.

Cut the bell pepper into strips.

Put all in a bowl and toss with some nice kalamata olives if you have them, or a small can of sliced California black olives, drained -- if that's all you have (or if you are trying to sneak them past someone who claims not to like olives). Chop up some parsley if you have it, or you can use dried parsley flakes that are still green.

Make a dressing of approximately (adjust to taste):

- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
- 1 Tsp. oregano
- 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
- juice from 1/2 lemon
- enough sugar to take just the edge off the bite, about 1 tsp.
- Freshly ground salt and pepper to taste.

Mix well with whisk and pour over salad. Add an 8-oz. container of crumbled feta and serve:

(Does anyone actually make that green bean casserole, anyway? Green beans, cream of mushroom soup and those ersatz "fried onions"? Yuck. Eat this salad instead.)

An Interview With Big Brother

While you're making turkey sandwiches and turkey soup, throw in these leftovers:



Political Science 101: When installing an official hagiographer, whenever at all possible, keep it in the family. Did anyone catch this at the White House's official website on November 12? After the election, George and Laura Bush were interviewed as part of StoryCorps' "National Day of Listening." StoryCorps is the national oral history initiative and this crapola will be archived in the Library of Congress.



By the way, these whining, defensive excerpts of his statements were answers to tough questions asked by a tough interviewer. Namely Georgie's own kid sister Doro, who'd also penned a memoir about HW, the other living war criminal in the family.

I would like to be a person remembered as a person who, first and foremost, did not sell his soul in order to accommodate the political process. I came to Washington with a set of values, and I'm leaving with the same set of values. And I darn sure wasn't going to sacrifice those values; that I was a President that had to make tough choices and was willing to make them. I surrounded myself with good people. I carefully considered the advice of smart, capable people and made tough decisions.

OK, nothing out of the ordinary there (although it's difficult to divine what Bush means when he says he "surrounded (him)self with good people, unless his definition of good is, "None of my co-conspirators have been executed before a firing squad, yet."). Same clueless, sociopathic bullshit that we've been hearing these past eight years. However, he may want to make a clarification about the selling the soul part. Just because you yourself didn't broker the same deals to the Devil in its various corporate incarnations doesn't mean that others didn't broker said deal, as this list of Bush "pioneers" or those who'd raised at least $100,000 for Dear Leader back in 2000 attests (including 31 current or future ambassadors or ambassador's wives, three of whom having since then been convicted of political crimes).



The problem is Bush will, indeed, exit from public disservice with the same values with which he entered. That's what got us embroiled in a six year war with Iraq and an increasingly more violent war in Afghanistan. Oh, speaking of which, listen to these whoppers...

I'd like to be a President (known) as somebody who liberated 50 million people and helped achieve peace; that focused on individuals rather than process; that rallied people to serve their neighbor; that led an effort to help relieve HIV/AIDS and malaria on places like the continent of Africa; that helped elderly people get prescription drugs and Medicare as a part of the basic package; that came to Washington, D.C., with a set of political statements and worked as hard as I possibly could to do what I told the American people I would do.

OK, if Bush is talking about Iraq and Afghanistan, then he's being modest about the number of people he's liberated. According to the latest available population estimates, Afghanistan's population is close to 32,000,000 and Iraq's has unaccountably ballooned from a pre-invasion, pre-genocide, pre-exodus figure of 26,000,000 to 29,000,000 (perhaps US and British contractors are factored in). Therefore, George W. Bush actually was conservative in his estimate of liberating 50,000,000 human souls.



Maybe the other 11,000,000 were detained, tortured, extraordinarily renditioned and otherwise killed in his peaceful achievements.



But Bush was right on one thing: He did focus more on individuals (like Saddam Hussein) and less on (due legal) process. Although our individual-focused Decider did reduce the carnage in Iraq as a mere "comma" in his glorious statements of liberation.



Helping elderly people get prescription drugs through the "reformed" Medicare? In Arizona, for example, John McCain's home state, the number of drug plans that will be offered will be slashed from 7 to 2. The reason for this is insurance companies opting out for the simple reason that it's no longer profitable enough or because their bids were rejected by Medicare.



Let's take a look at a press release from the Center for Budget and Policy Priorities from 2002 when the effect from Bush's 2001 tax cuts were first being felt:

This issue brief compares the cost of last year's tax cuts — and especially the costs of the tax cuts provided to the top one percent of the population — with the costs of two possible prescription drug plans for the Medicare population. The first such plan would cover, on average, one-quarter of the prescription drug costs of the Medicare population. The second plan would be like the first except that it would cover, on average, half of the Medicare population's drug costs.



Such prescription drug plans would entail significant expense, and the plan covering half the cost of prescription drugs — at a cost of approximately $700 billion over ten years — would be twice as expensive as the plan covering one-quarter of drug costs. Yet the cost of the tax cut is substantially larger than the cost of either of these prescription drug proposals. When the tax cut is fully in effect, the cost of the tax cut just for the top one percent of the population would exceed the entire difference in cost between the two prescription drug proposals...

The point here is clear: Whatever money people would be saving by having half their drug costs covered would be blown and them some by the top 1% of earners' tax breaks. Add to that the Bush administration's militant stance against "untested", cheaper Canadian drugs and their inability to recognize the importance of outpatient prescriptions (which was never covered since Medicare was first created in 1965) and it's impossible to see how Plan D has benefited the elderly on Medicare.



In fact, the federal Medicare program is such a complicated, corrupt boondoggle that states like Oregon had to get involved to fill in the gaps for their seniors.



As far as HIV/AIDS-malaria in Africa goes, while Bush renewed his commitment to combat HIV/AIDS and other diseases in Africa, in 2003 Bush allocated $3 billion to fight those same diseases yet did so while undermining the efforts of the World Health Organization (WHO) with their own Global Fund to Fight AIDS, TB and Malaria. Essentially, it trumped compassion in favor of ideology, bureaucratizing the entire process so that cheaper, generic forms of antiretrovirals so essential to the treatment of HIV/AIDS would get snared in an unnecessary regulatory process. In other words, the Global Fund was intended primarily to be a global fund to profit Bush's buddies in the pharmaceutical industry.



It also ought to be noted that one third of the Global Fund's budget was set aside for abstinence programs rather than the treatment of HIV/AIDS. Plus, as with No Child Left Behind and so many other wonderful gifts given to us by the Bush administration, the Global Fund's funding began to decrease almost immediately thanks to certain lawmakers in Congress.



When Sis asks about how faith plays in his public service, Big Brother had this to say:

I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the President, and I have been affected by people's prayers a lot. I have found that faith is comforting, faith is strengthening, faith has been important....



I would advise politicians, however, to be careful about faith in the public arena. ...In other words, politicians should not be judgmental people based upon their faith. They should recognize -- as least I have recognized I am a lowly sinner seeking redemption, and therefore have been very careful about saying (accept) my faith or you're bad. In other words, if you don't accept what I believe, you're a bad person.



And the greatness of America -- it really is -- is that you can worship or not worship and be equally American. And it doesn't matter how you choose to worship; you're equally American. And it's very important for any President to jealously protect, guard, and strengthen that freedom.

He recognizes that he's a "lowly sinner" yet refuses to say what his greatest failure has been or to even acknowledge that there are any problems at all.



It's notable that while Bush has been publicly conciliatory toward those of differing faiths, he's done nothing in the way whatsoever of criticizing those in Wingnuttia who demonize Muslims or claim that being unChristian is somehow unAmerican.



Besides, as Bush had proven through David Kuo's book, one's faith or the power of that faith doesn't make them immune from budget cuts or reneged promises on faith-based funding. In fact, just days after the '06 midterms, Kuo had written in a NY Times op-ed:

Tellingly, Beliefnet’s poll showed that nearly 60 percent of non-evangelicals have a more negative view of Jesus because of Christian political involvement; almost 40 percent believe that George W. Bush’s faith has had a negative impact on his presidency.

In other words, everything George W. Bush has touched had turned into complete dog shit, complete dog shit that, in his self-conscious self-effacement, he thinks is pure gold. And, toward the end of his 96 month-long rape of the constitution and the Middle East, the most challenging interviewer he'll let interview him is his own kid sister.

While you were cooking and shopping....

...AIG was preparing to take more of your money and give it to its executives. But don't call it a "bonus", call it a "retention agreement":

American International Group Inc., the insurer that said yesterday it scrapped bonuses for top executives after a U.S. bailout, will still pay 130 managers “cash awards” to stay with the firm, including $3 million to retirement services chief Jay Wintrob.

Wintrob, 51, will get the “retention” payment in two installments, the first in April 2009 and the rest a year later, New York-based AIG said today in a regulatory filing. The firm previously disclosed the program in a Sept. 26 filing and said today that Wintrob and Chief Financial Officer David Herzog elected to get the payments four months later than planned.

“The expectation from the public and Congress was that they weren’t getting bonuses, not that they’d be pushed off by several months,” said David Schmidt, a consultant at executive pay firm James F. Reda & Associates. “That clearly violates the spirit of AIG saying they’ll forgo their bonuses.”

Chief Executive Officer Edward Liddy is encouraging top employees at AIG subsidiaries to remain so the units retain their value while he finds buyers. The insurer is selling businesses, including the U.S. retirement group Wintrob heads, to repay a $60 billion loan included in the expanded government rescue package AIG got this month.

“We’ve said they aren’t eligible for annual bonuses, and they’re not,” Nicholas Ashooh, spokesman for AIG, said today in an interview. “What we’re talking about are retention agreements -- they’ve been pushed back by several months -- and it’s our hope that those businesses will be sold in several months.”

No....NO! This is NOT the way it's supposed to be, people!

Those of you who are Maronistas recognize the title of this post from an old Marc Maron appearance on Conan O'Brien's show, in which he talks about going to the mall during Christmas season dressed as Jesus and walking around, shaking his head, and saying the words from which this post takes its title.

That was a joke. This isn't:

A 34-year-old Wal-Mart worker died Friday morning after "a throng of shoppers . . . physically broke down the doors" and knocked him to the ground as the crowd pushed its way into the store at a Valley Stream mall, Nassau police said.

One police officer told Newsday the prelude to the death was "a mob scene." The man who died was a temporary, part-time Wal-Mart worker, the officer said.

Shoppers who surged into the store were asked to leave by Wal-Mart workers, some of them crying and visibly upset, said one shopper, Kimberly Cribbs of Far Rockaway.

Though rumors circulated among the shoppers that someone had been badly injured, people ignored the Wal-Mart workers' requests that they stop shopping, move to the front of the store and exit, Cribbs said.

"They kept shopping. It's not right. They're savages," Cribbs said.

She said she entered the store after the worker was already being attended to by emergency personnel. As people waited, then pushed into the store, she said, "It was chaos."

Another shopper said people were screaming and shoving in line before the opening.

The worker was knocked down at 5:03 a.m. at the Green Acres Mall store, and was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 6:03 a.m.

There is something very, very wrong with a country in which people are losing their homes and losing their jobs, and yet they trample a minimum-wage Wal-Mart worker to death in their quest for cheap crap made in overseas sweatshops at one of the worst retail operations in the country. This event is a microcosm of everything that is greedy, petty, selfish, and mean-spirited about this country. And here we were feeling so positive and hopeful after the election.

What kind of people are we, when there are those who, as Fixer so succinctly put it, hide under the bed "if a Muslim farts sideways somewhere in the world" -- and yet don't think twice about the even more real danger of simply dealing with a bunch of greedy Americans stampeding a Wal-Mart? The fact of the matter is that if you are shopping today, you have a far greater chance of being killed in a car accident or stampeded to death by fellow shoppers than you do of being killed by terrorists in the next four years.

Our thoughts go out to this worker's family. Our dollars will too if we find out about a collection.

What to make after you get sick of turkey - Part I: Behold the [Pita] Bread

I'm taking a page from the Minstrel Boy today and sharing step-by-step instructions for the Greek-inspired Thanksgiving dinner we had at Casa la Brilliant yesterday. I realize that for most Americans, not having turkey, cranberries and assorted carbohydrates is exactly the kind of thing that Sarah Palin warned us about, but a turkey dinner is always better with lots of people bringing lots of dishes, resulting in a kind of American Traditional Tapas Bar. So while Matt Yglesias is being shunned in some quarters for his temerity in making a case against the Big Bird on lefty bloggers' favorite American holiday, I prefer a quieter approach to dashing tradition on the rocks of contemporary reality.

Today I know you'll be chowing down on leftover turkey sandwiches smeared with cranberries (though I think the idea posted in the comments at Minstrel Boy's cranberry post of leftover homemade cranberry sauce on a bagel with cream cheese sounds intriguing). But tomorrow you'll be sick of the Big Bird and you'll want something different. Here in the New York area, it's supposed to be colder tomorrow and raining by Sunday night, so you might want some nice comfort food in a casserole. So here you go, with accompaniments -- Authentic Greek Mother-in-Law (not mine, that of a former co-worker from many years ago) Pastitso with whole wheat pita and chopped salad.

First the pita. Bring your bread machine up from the basement and wipe down the dusty exterior. Then put into the loaf pan:

1-1/4 cups lukewarm water
1 Tbs. shortening or butter
3/4 tsp. sugar
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1-1/2 cups bread flour
2-1/3 tsp. yeast

Set it for the dough cycle and let it go. When the cycle is done, clear the cycle, then set it for dough again and let it go for 60 seconds. Then hold down the stop button to clear the cycle. You should have a nice ball of dough that holds together well. Let it rest for 5 minutes.

If you have a pizza stone, put it in the oven and preheat the oven and stone to 500 degrees. Yes, 500.

Then cut the ball in half, and then each half into 4-6 equally-sized pieces. This recipe will make 12 4" pitas or 8 6" pitas. Lightly dust a board with flour, setting some aside to keep your rolling pin dusted. Roll each piece into a round about 1/4" thick:

Brush with olive oil and sprinkle with oregano, if desired. Bake on the pizza stone for five minutes (yes, five minutes). Take out, cool slightly, and the put in a ziploc bag so that the breads un-puff, flatten, and stay soft. This is what you end up with:

Next up: The Salad

Top 10, my friend

So yes we all know that Top 10 lists are, by their nature, extremely subjective and open for debate, but hey, I don't think I'm going to knock back getting mentioned in the Times Online list of Top ten food blogs from around the world.I met up with Simon Majumdar in May 2007 when he visited Sydney as part of his gastronomic world tour of research for his upcoming book, Eat My Globe. We had

Don't Rain on my Parade...

"The stabby ends of very, very sharp sticks..."-Driftglass

Just as I was closing up brain and shop, concentrated on matters of chicken poo, hay, and pie ,(not necessarily in that order) out of the corner of my ear yesterday I overheard some pundit or other say something to the effect of "torturers will not be brought to justice," and so goes the rest of this disgusting culture and any morality that was still clinging to the underside of the lip.

India is in flames, supposedly...or you would think so by the reportage...wasn't there a parade that I used to peel potato to?...Ive been brewing coffee, feeding dogs and thinking, thinking, about whether its right at all to post a gut feeling without all the necessary research...and then whether its OK to cross post that opinion/gut feeling over on Mrs. Brill's blog and further. I mean here she is actually brave enough to state the things that she is thankful for, with seemingly no worry that they're gonna come and take it all away, poof!, just like everything else....and here I am with my usual half empty perspective. Yesterday I was asked to answer yes or no as to if I was an optimist or a pessimist, in order to get into a focus group that pays $100 cash that I need right now (what with the household publication of the boy's Christmas/Birthday list and the credit cards deciding to implode with higher minimum payments and APRs.) I kept trying to tell the guy that there must be something between the two, no?...I mean...WTF? Well, its a panel about the credit/economy crisis it turns out, and I was able to get on by a hair...but if I had been pessimistic in general, like, in life, I wouldn't have. More on that as it unfolds; they sometimes cancel and even though the screener told me that this one was definitely on...well. we'll see.

So, I guess its not so horrible that the India thing, when shown on holographic map and zoomed in upon, with flaming American style hotel and obligatory escaped hostage shown over and over, strikes me as another part of the M$M bamboozle that will, no doubt for anyone willing to actually look into it, lead back to a rise in terrorism due to American influence, Mumbai and India being our worker arm after all. And its only a short hop to the connection with our outgoing administration and their crush-the-mushroom strategy on terrorism. If the way the terrorists landed and spread out in multi attacks hits a little close to home, and smacks of being sophisticated enough to rank up there with the best that Al Quaeda Worldwide has to offer, well...
But still, what the fuck is going on? Bangkok anti-government protesters? A coup?....
Don't they know its turkey day? Isn't this when we stuff ourselves with genetically altered, oil injected, bird and lay like slugs in front of American football, watching the helpless, hopeless, meaningless travels of a ball up and down a field?

Ultimately, my gut feeling about all of this terrorism and uncertainty in the world can point in only one direction.... And if a couple of Americans are hurt in the crossfire?...well, there must be some rejoicing in the streets!
Someone called me this morning and stated bluntly that all of this Oh MY! about this operation, in that the number of dead equals a tiny, tiny percentage of people who are dying across India from tooth infections and the like. Get your priorities straight! Honestly, if terrorism is really just a dramatization of the feeling of portions of the population across the country, this wasn't all that bad, considering the desperate conditions out there. Just have a look at where Jack Bauer has been all these months (...blame the writer's strike!)...and I want to know if Obama is gonna at least hold Bauer responsible for what he's done in the name of country.

To the reportage attacks on India are worthy mainly due to great footage of flames and ongoing standoffs, and the hushed exclamation that 2 Americans, maybe more, have been HURT!!
Whatever made Americans feel like we were superior and special must by now be tempered by seeing with our own eyes what happens when we give away what made us strong; Natural resources, resiliency, ingenuity and the intelligence to reinvest in our beautiful country and its superior inhabitants. We gave all that away so that capitalism could cycle into the self destructive part, which is the inevitability in any unregulated economic sceneario; that is unless human nature has changed for the better while I was asleep. The moment Reagan stood at a podium, half addled already, reading the script put in front of him, charmingly, saying that there was no need for regulation as large corporations were very capable of regulating themselves, we were done for.

Which brings me back to the stabby sticks of Driftglass today and the flotation of ideas that the guilty will not be punished...on any level...ever!
Our beloved President Elect is not in any sense a better man than you Drifty; he merely expects less of people than you do....He must know that the American, and hell probably the worldwide attention span, is not long enough to withstand what might be necessary to demand justice. The accusation of holding a grudge or being backward-looking seems to now be stronger than the reality that we will never really be able to move forward without looking at what happened and showing the world, no matter how long it takes, that we really are who we pretended to be before the money took over.
I suppose that cleaning up the mess while you cook is too much to expect of this very messy country and its lazy inhabitants, but I think that we should at least expect some semblance of the realization and knowledge that this was not just a few rogue actors screwing things up, but an aberration in the entire American culture, manipulated by threats and our inherent weakness! I think we should expect more...but having an educated and strong populace doesn't serve those who profit from our weakness.

Meanwhile, over on NBC, thank God for New York City and Macy's, Broadway shows, balloons, clowns, confetti, kids, and anyone able to feel anything real anymore.

(The real thankful part maybe later...Now, I gotta bake a pecan pie...)

c/p RIPCoco

OK, what does THIS say?

It must be the F-word. Because Gender Analyzer says there is a 97% probability that this blog is written by a man.

By comparison, it calculates that there is a mere 83% probability that Ornery Bastard is written by a man.

I don't know about you, but the few posts that jurassicpork puts up here are not enough to skew the results fourteen points over Ornery Bastard.

This means something, but damned if I know what.

Things I'm Thankful For Today

I'm thankful for my gene pool, which has blessed me with good health.

I'm thankful for my spouse of 22 years, who still makes me laugh.

I'm thankful for my sister, who was only too willing to build a relationship with me after I hated her for decades for being "the pretty one."

I'm thankful that my former employer laid me off in August, before things really started going to hell, and I'm thankful that I was able to find a new job quickly.

I'm thankful that Sarah Palin is not going to be the Vice President in January.

I'm thankful that I've been able to separate this holiday from the Norman Rockwellery and become able to do with it as we want.

I'm thankful for my many friends, virtual and meat world, who visit this blog and who feed my soul every day.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. And may those who are being buffeted by the winds of corporate greed right now find the wind at their back soon.

Thanksgiving Music Blogging

Steve Martin, Tony Trischka, and Bela Fleck, on Late Night With David Letterman, 4/26/07:

Slate Presents the Sarah Palin Turkey Interview Outtakes.....

Don't hate her because she is either an evil genius or a gullible idiot. Instead, hate her because she really doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything outside of her insular and small mindset....She could never serve all the people because she is a fundamentalist whose beliefs don't allow for varying lifestyles or viewpoints...so bye, bye...I can't say that it hasn't been really, really fun somehow along the way. There is something delicious about seeing the evil show their true colors.
Write and tell us what hell is like, K?

c/p RIPCoco

Happy Thanksgiving, suckers!!

Did you really expect the Bush Administration to go quietly?

Federal authorities are warning police of a possible terror plot against the New York City subway and train systems during the holiday season, prompting local officials to beef up security at stations. An internal memo obtained by The Associated Press says the FBI has received a "plausible but unsubstantiated" report that al-Qaida terrorists in late September may have discussed attacking the subway system.

A person briefed on the matter, speaking to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the intelligence-gathering work, said the threat may also be directed at the passenger rail lines running through New York, such as Amtrak and the Long Island Rail Road, which are particularly busy with Thanksgiving holiday travelers.

A U.S. counterterror official, also speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to do so publicly, said senior government officials have been briefed because the FBI very recently received credible information about possible attacks over the holiday season, and authorities are particularly concerned about this long holiday weekend.

Yes, folks, here we go again.

Time, June 27, 2004:

As the July 4 holiday approaches, Bush Administration officials are bombarding the nation's police, fire, emergency and corporate-security offices with another round of terrorism warnings. Although there are no plans to raise the threat level from yellow to orange, a senior Justice Department official says, "there's very serious intelligence that's corroborated, that's multiple sourced, that indicates that al-Qaeda is intent on hitting us and hitting us hard this year." The official concedes, however, that "we don't have specific information."

Along with this now familiar general warning, the FBI has introduced the specter of a new terrorism threat: booby-trapped beer coolers. A lightly classified bulletin sent to 18,000 state and local agencies last week advised local authorities to look out for plastic-foam containers, inner tubes and other waterborne flotsam commonly seen around marinas that could be rigged to blow up on contact. Also, the bulletin warned, terrorists might attach bombs to buoys. FBI and Department of Homeland Security officials say no such devices have actually been discovered, nor is there any current intelligence that terrorists are hatching plots involving floating bombs. But some officials believe al-Qaeda may be focusing on harbors and shipping channels in an effort to replicate the success of the October 2000 attack on the U.S.S. Cole in the port of Aden, in which suicide bombers used a small launch laden with explosives to rip a 40-ft. hole in the warship's hull, killing 17 sailors.

CNN, 21/21/2003 (via the East Carolinian):

The Department of Homeland Security raised the U.S. terror threat level from elevated to high Sunday, warning of possible terrorist strikes more devastating than the attacks of September 11, 2001.

Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge said the move was the result of a "substantial increase" in the volume of intelligence pointing to "near-term attacks that could either rival or exceed what we experienced on September 11."

Ridge urged the public to be patient with stricter security measures "in the coming days and weeks" and to proceed with holiday plans despite the threat.

"America is a country that will not be bent by terror," he said.

A senior administration official familiar with the decision said the volume of threats was "significantly higher" and was coming from known sources but that there was "nothing site-specific."

Top officials discussed the matter among themselves and with President Bush for several days. The intelligence "reached the level at which we felt this is [the] right decision, to ramp up in time for [the] holidays," the senior administration official said.

I guess Keith Olbermann will have to update his "nexus of politics and terror":

I just have one question: If George W. Bush has kept us safe, why do they need to try to scare people right before the holidays? Whether Bush likes it or not, he's still in charge until January 20.

The timing of yet another "nonspecific" warning to which we shouldn't react with alarm, right before a holiday, coinciding with today's horrific attacks in Mumbai, and fast on the heels of media scrutiny given to the bailout of Citigroup, done on the weekend when no one was paying attention and right after one of Bush's Saudi buddies took a bigger stake in the company, is all too reminiscent of threats the Bushistas have done in the past when their doings were drawing attention.

Kelly's Bar and Grill, Bondi Junction

Pork ribs regular $27.95You're either a ribs person, or you ain't. I know which one I am.What greater pleasure than holding a rib bone with both hands and tearing shreds of succulent char-grilled meat off with your teeth. With a few grunts, sighs and surreptitious licking of lips, it's the closest anyone of us gets to impersonating Nigella.Complimentary briocheWe headed to Kelly's at Bondi

Didn't Republicans used to bash Jimmy Carter for doing this?

Did you ever think you'd live to see the day when a Republican president's Treasury Secretary would, along with the Fed chairman, say baldly that they'd print as much money as necessary to deal with the banking crisis? But that's exactly the Bush Administration's plan in its waning days:

The Federal Reserve and the Treasury announced $800 billion in new lending programs on Tuesday, sending a message that they would print as much money as needed to revive the nation’s crippled banking system.

[snip]

In the last year, the government has assumed about $7.8 trillion in direct and indirect financial obligations. That is equal to about half the size of the nation’s entire economy and far eclipses the $700 billion that Congress authorized for the Treasury’s financial rescue plan.

Those obligations include about $1.4 trillion that has already been committed to loans, capital infusions to banks and the rescues of firms like Bear Stearns and the American International Group, the troubled insurance conglomerate. But they also include additional trillions in government guarantees on mortgages, bank deposits, commercial loans and money market funds.

The mortgage markets were electrified by the Fed’s announcement that it would swoop in and buy up to $600 billion in debt tied to mortgages guaranteed by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Interest rates on 30-year fixed-rate mortgages fell almost a full percentage point, to 5.5 percent, from 6.3 percent.

But analysts said the program would do little to reduce the tidal wave of foreclosures. That is because most of the foreclosures are on subprime mortgages and other high-risk loans that were not bought or guaranteed by government-sponsored finance companies like Fannie Mae.

Stock investors reacted coolly to the announcements. The major stock indexes initially fell. The Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index later edged up, closing at 857.39, up 0.66 percent. The Nasdaq closed down 0.5 percent, at 1,464.73.

The long-term risks are enormous but difficult to estimate. They begin with the danger of a new surge of inflation, at least after the economy comes out of its current downturn. Beyond that, taxpayers will have to pick up the losses from loans that default or guarantees that have to be made good.

In other words, they're printing money to wallpaper the offices of Wall Street executives who will get their bonuses anyway, and then we're going to have to foot the bill for this.

I remember when we used to talk about revolution being the only way to change things, because we were dealing with Johnson and later Nixon refusing to get us out of Vietnam. God...how naive we were. We had no idea how bad it COULD get.

Next up: a clamor for a return to defined benefit pensions?

Not that it will do any good; the few companies that DO still have defined benefit pension plans, such as airlines and the automobile industry, are starting to cut them as part of the cost cutbacks being borne by workers. The rest of us, if we're lucky, are given the "opportunity" to contribute to a 401(k) plan.

When 401(k)s were first introduced, the sales pitch was exactly the same as it was years later when Republicans pushed to have Social Security funds invested in the stock market -- that the returns would be better than with conventional pensions, that you would "control your own money." And in most cases, there were matching funds from the employer, which meant a return on your money right from the minute both contributions were made. Of course, as more companies did away with pensions so that the ONLY retirement vehicle you had was the 401(k), and more recently, as companies have started to cut or eliminate the company contribution part of their plans, and we've seen just how rigged the markets are against the ordinary investor, enthusiasm for these plans on the part of workers is waning:

U.S. workers are increasingly cautious about investing in corporate retirement funds, having shifted money out of stocks, reduced how much they contribute and, in some cases, stopped contributions altogether or withdrawn money, according to a study released Monday.

The study by Hewitt Associates, which administers 401(k) plans for corporations, found the average U.S. 401(k) plan balance was down 14 percent through October to $68,000 from $79,000 in 2007.

That's all? My balance from my last job is down 14 percent just since I was laid off at the end of August. Let's not even TALK about the IRA I set up thirteen years ago to consolidate money from other jobs' retirement plans. It's just too depressing.

When I signed up for the plan at my new job, I decided to put 80% of my contributions in cash, which generates 3%, but at least it's guaranteed, as I watch my more stock-intensive accounts ebb away.

In 2006, the PBS series Frontline ran an episode examining the United Airlines bankruptcy effect on that company's pension fund as a backdrop to the entire retirement savings mess. The program interviewed Jack VanDerhei, Senior Research Fellow at theEmployee Benefit Research Institute, who said:

If you have nothing but Social Security and your 401(k) accounts, if you want to retire at 65 [with 80 percent of your pre-retirement income] and you're male, [you have to have] about 6.3 [times your pre-retirement annual income]; if you're a female, about 6.7. The reason, of course, is you have a longer life expectancy if you're female than male. If you want to retire early -- say, at age 60 -- those numbers are going to increase up to about 6.9 [times pay] if you're male, and about 7.2 [times pay] if you're female.

The bottom line is that AT MINIMUM, you need to put away a combined 15-18% of your annual salary if you're going to be able to retire, including both employee and employer contributions. If your employer does not match, you are on the hook for the entire amount. If you only contribute for 20 years because you, as I did, have a career that didn't really get going until your thirties, you need to earn an annualized rate of return of 8% per year on your contributions. That's not likely to happen now for a long, long time, given current market conditions. So is it any wonder that many of us are going for the smaller, but sure thing, instead of pouring our money into an empty hole?

Retirement? What's retirement? We're all, starting with the middle-stage baby boomers like me, going to have to get this notion out of our heads that we can check out of the workforce at age 66 years and two months and go off to make pottery and garden and volunteer to read to schoolchildren, or whatever picture we have of not having to get up in the morning every day, drive in insane traffic, and spend 8-10 hours in an office, followed by an equally insane drive home, dinner, Olbermann, and exhausted sleep. All this assumes, of course, that we're even going to be ALLOWED to stay in the workforce, as more companies cut staff and send jobs overseas.

It's easy to sell a bill of goods like the 401(k) when markets are booming. But they never tell you how the dice are loaded in favor of the investment companies.

The Useful Idiot

(Photo courtesy of Bildungblog.)

You would think that, during the entire history of the blogosphere, George W. Bush would have proven to be a useful idiot for the purposes of progressives. While not exactly providing us with endless object lessons in conscientious governance, Bush and his jigglingly bloated, stupendously corrupt government has at least taught us in ways too numerous to count how not to run the federal government.

You would think, anyway.

Yet to judge by the 55,000,000 useless idiots who'd voted for John McCain three weeks ago, it's obvious that about half the country still hasn't connected the dots and saw the big picture. Take all those pixels of failure and incompetence both great and small, take a few steps back and one begins to see an emerging political portrait of Dorian Grey that ages not Bush but the citizenry that cares to look upon it:

They will see the laziest, most disinterested, cronyistic, greedy, self-absorbed, paranoid, sociopathic maladroit that ever slithered into the Oval Office. Oh, and he's also stupider than a pillowcase full of petrified dog shit.

Yet the cyclical nature of the changing of the guard on Capitol Hill, while in theory inevitable and even necessary for the purposes of checks and balances, doesn't always equate with what's logical, well-informed or even necessary.

A quick look at our recent history, even just within the last generation or two, shows several about-faces brought about by a fickle electorate. How could Nixon, for instance, even at the height of antiwar sentiment squeak into the White House only to win by a landslide four years later (without even needing the Southern Strategy), the draft still intact, after escalating the bombing raids in North Vietnam and sending many more bodies into SE Asia?

Then, how come Nixon just a year and a half later was hounded out of office by both parties just for spying on Democrats, burglarizing Ellsberg's shrink's office and then covering it up?

Why was Jimmy Carter, swept into office and replacing an incumbent who'd ended the Vietnam War and stabilized the economy but who nonetheless belonged to a universally reviled party, pummeled at the polls four years later by a Brylcreemed turncoat, an Alzheimer's candidate with no foreign policy experience? Did Carter not broker a peace deal between Israel and Egypt at Camp David?

Why did Reagan win by a landslide of his own at a time when social service programs were underfunded or killed outright and we began racking up a bigger and bigger debt and deficit? And after that, why did we elect his milksop Vice President, a refuge from the Carlyle Group's boardroom even years after Iran-Contra broke?

Why did we come out in such huge numbers 8 years ago as if W was an improvement over eight almost miraculously peaceful, prosperous years under Clinton? Enough people voted for Bush so that the eventual Diebold/ES&S-nudged election results seemed plausible to those whose judgment counted.

Political scientists will be debating the whys of these seemingly insoluble riddles and paradoxes long after all these men are dead and gone. We could, in the meantime, offer quick, facile and uncomplicated reasons.

Nixon won because people swallowed his lies about wanting peace and because Humphrey reminded voters of Johnson. Nixon got re-elected by a landslide because the Democrats didn't get out the youth vote back in '72 as Obama did in '08 (which is actually true enough). Plus, no sitting president ever ran for re-election and lost during a major military campaign (explaining in one fell swoop the implausible '04 election results).

Carter lost because of the hostages. Ford lost because of pardoning Nixon. And Bill Clinton is still guilty of far more heinous crimes (getting a blow job and lying about it to a grand jury so he wouldn't have to catch hell from his ball-busting wife) than Nixon or even Bush ever was.

Part of the reason for these curious election results, of course, could be summed up in one simple, declarative sentence, if one is willing to risk ridicule for making the ultimate facile observation: We're simply a nation with just enough useless idiots so that common sense doesn't always carry and save the day.

In the case of Watergate, Republicans became a four letter word during the '76 elections yet we forgave quickly enough to vault into the Oval Office a former B actor who wanted to rattle his rusty saber at Russia at a time when Carter was making great strides toward establishing peace. Whatever gains Carter had made between Sadat and Begin at Camp David was immediately swept away and then some when those hostages were taken at Tehran.

Americans had forgotten the object lesson given to them by Nixonian Republicans: That Republicans simply cannot be trusted, that their primary usefulness is in providing a necessary check and balance to the liberal excesses in Congress and as a reminder of how our government will be run some day if the Nixonian Republicans mutate and dominate both Congress and the White House at the same time.

To this day, Reagan remains the Teflon President, since even the scandal of Iran-Contra still doesn't stick to him and the capricious tarring and feathering of posterity still hasn't come close to giving the Great Communicator his much-deserved comeuppance. It's as if Reagan's senility was communicable because we don't seem to be able to recall that Reagan's Voodoo Economics of over a quarter of a century ago was actually the ignition point of the economic fire that we're vainly trying to beat out today. We've not only forgiven Reagan for his own excesses but our collective gray matter has gone as blank as Reagan's during his Iran-Contra Congressional testimony in 1986.

Americans are too quick to forgive Republicans for even the most heinous of crimes against humanity and common sense and too quick to condemn Democrats for far lesser crimes. Just when the Republican party gives us a useful idiot like Reagan or Bush and especially Bush II, some of us still hope that it will finally serve this time as a lesson in knowing what you're getting into bed with when we vote for Republicans.

The '06 midterms and the '08 general election that saw even more Republicans getting swept out of office and the election of our nation's first African American president was the loudest declaration since the post-Watergate elections of '76 of an unwillingness to tolerate high crimes and misdemeanors and abuse of power.

Yet Bush and Cheney never once came close to impeachment (and people were hung after Nuremberg for committing lesser crimes than those two) and Democrats we're seeing today are to blame for that. Even if they suddenly grew backbones and started doing the right things for a change and kicked lobbyists and special interest groups out of their offices en masse, would that be good enough to satisfy a fickle public that will once again crave change at any cost?

The World Series may yet represent the world in the next few years

With the new Mets ballpark being named by a Saudi-owned bank using our money, and these recent signings by the Pittsburgh Pirates, it may be time to start rooting for the team that plays at the confluence of the Allegheny, the Monongehela, and the Ohio rivers. Because this is pretty cool:

On Monday, the Pirates signed two young Indian pitchers, 20-year-old right-hander Dinesh Patel and 19-year-old southpaw Rinku Singh, as non-drafted free agents. Both will participate in the team's Minor League Spring Training next year.

"The Pirates are committed to creatively adding talent to our organization," general manager Neal Huntington said in a statement. "By adding these two young men, we are pleased to not only add two prospects to our system but also hope to open a pathway to an untapped market.

"We are intrigued by Patel's arm strength and Singh's frame and potential," he continued. "These young men have improved a tremendous amount in their six-month exposure to baseball, and we look forward to helping them continue to fulfill their potential."

The story of Patel and Singh is one that is made for the movies. Both were discovered while participating in India's Million Dollar Arm challenge that began last December. The event was designed to find the country's most powerful and accurate arm and had more than 30,000 participants.

The contest was the idea of JB Bernstein, a marketing agent best known for representing Barry Bonds. The contest was simple: The winner would be the person who could throw 85 mph or higher and consistently for strikes.

In addition to handing out a $100,000 cash prize to the winner of the contest, organizers also promised the winner training in the United States to prepare him to be scouted by Major League clubs.

Singh emerged as the winner of the country-wide contest despite having no previous baseball experience before entering the competition. However, a Major League scout was also intrigued with Patel, who threw harder but with less accuracy. As a result, Patel was offered the chance to come to the U.S. to train as well.

After the competition ended, Singh and Patel came to the U.S. to train with University of Southern California pitching coach Tom House. All that work built up to a Nov. 12 tryout, when both players threw in front of approximately 20 Major League baseball scouts with the hope of earning a Spring Training invitation. The two pitchers both reportedly threw in the low-90s at the tryout.

"They still have to learn how to play the game," House told MLB.com after the tryout. "Their talent is the upside, but it's going to take them a while to learn how to play. It's not going to take much to get them to sign, either. If you're looking at it as an organization, you can really develop these kids.

"I know they can pitch, but we have to teach them how to play the game. It's well worth the risk."

Singh and Patel were javelin throwers in high school. They have begun to learn English by watching Baseball Tonight since arriving in the U.S. They are also taking online courses to continue their studies of the language.

When it comes to the scouting reports, the 6-foot-2 Singh throws 89-90 mph and has a split-finger changeup pitch. The 5-foot-11 Patel throws a circle change and can reach 91-92 mph with his heater.

Monday's signings mark the Pirates' third international signing this offseason. Pittsburgh inked South African switch-hitting shortstop prospect Mpho Ngoepe, 18, earlier this fall. Ngoepe is expected to begin playing in the team's Gulf Coast rookie league next season.

In terms of language, what they really need to focus on learning is their clichés:

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves

From the Murdoch Post's Page Six.

Schadenfreude? Moi?

Sushi Tengoku, Kensington

Sashimi moriawase $26Mixed raw fillets of seafood (18 pieces)Read any online review of Sushi Tengoku and the words GIANT SUSHI are sure to feature.With a reputation for being incredibly popular with locals, especially nearby uni students, we're glad we've made a booking, although it's not too busy on a Wednesday night. The restaurant is small and unassuming, nestled between a dry cleaners and a

So why DID we just throw a truckload of money at Citigroup then?

Did the Bush Administration just shovel a ton of taxpayer money at Citigroup in order to shore up an investment for his Saudi pals? It sure looks that way.

I don't recall seeing or reading anywhere in the American mainstream media last week that Saudi prince Alwaleed bin Talal had invested $349 million in the ailing banking giant, did you?

The Guardian, Thursday, November 20:

Saudi Arabian prince Alwaleed bin Talal has come to the rescue of Citigroup with a much-needed cash injection today.

The surprise turnaround ended a two-year selloff that has wiped more than $200bn (£135bn) from the bank's market value.

The Saudi prince will increase his stake from about 4 to 5% in the coming days.

The move initially filled investors with confidence and sparked a buying spree before the bell. The shares surged 25 cents to $6.65, but then fell back to tumble by another 17.5%. Yesterday, they fell more than 22% in a single session while the stock is down more than 90% since 2006.

Based on Wednesday evening's closing price, the prince plans to invest about $349m of his fortune in Citigroup shares.

In a statement released at 9am in New York, Talal said he believed Citi's shares were "dramatically undervalued" and expressed "full and complete support to Citi management" including the embattled chief executive, Vikram Pandit.

He said the New York-based bank was "taking all the necessary steps to position the company to withstand the challenges facing the banking industry and the global economy".

Talal said he was "fully confident that Citigroup's universal banking model and global franchise will make it a long-term winner in the financial services industry".

Then suddenly, over the weekend when everyone is watching football and crowding the supermarkets buying turkey and cranberries, suddenly out of nowhere the Fed pumps $20 billion into the company, and lo and behold, on Monday the company's stock rises over 57 percent. Not a bad one-day haul for Prince Alwaleed bin Talal.

But then, George W. Bush has always taken good care of his Saudi friends, even at the expense of, oh, say, almost 3000 people's lives on a sunny day in September seven years ago.

Bin Talal owns five percent of Citigroup. The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority took a 4.9% stake almost exactly a year ago.

But aside from helping one of Bush's Saudi buddies get a nice one-day return on his money, will the Citigroup bailout help stabilize the financial markets? We can has recovery now?

Hardly:

In the short term, the latest effort to steady Citigroup has removed the risk that a sudden failure of the giant bank would send losses cascading through the financial industry.

But longer term, the new bailout could haunt regulators and taxpayers. The move ultimately may encourage banks to take more risks in the belief that the government will step in if they run into trouble.

With a recession looming, if not here already, banks big and small are bracing for more loans to sour, particularly those related to commercial real estate, autos and credit cards. Many are making fewer loans, even though the industry has received nearly $300 billion from the government.

Before long, anxious investors may start wondering which banks will be vulnerable next. If confidence fades, other big lenders will probably seek deals like Citigroup’s, in which the government has pledged to pick up potentially $290 billion in additional losses. Regulators drafted the plan with an eye to using it as a template for future bailouts.

There are other worries for Citigroup’s big rivals. Almost overnight, Citigroup went from being the sick man of the industry to an institution with an edge over its competitors. The government is guaranteeing $250 billion of risky assets and pumping an additional $20 billion into the bank.

With the government behind it, Citigroup may now be able to borrow money in the capital markets at lower interest rates than its peers.

“Citi has a decided advantage over them because of the loss-sharing agreement,” said John Kanas, the former chief executive of North Fork Bank of Long Island. While banks may hold out for now, it may be only a matter of time before they too line up, several analysts said.

And at least until January 20, the question of whether the Bush Administration puts some coin in their tin cup will depend on whether they have Bush cronies like the Saudi royal family as major shareholders. But then, it was always thus with this administration.

Monday Cat Blogging

I know that Cat Blogging is a Friday thing, but if you're like I am, and you've somehow managed to either stay employed or by some miracle, as I did, find another job, you're probably feeling a strong urge to thank whatever fates have spared you from the wolf at the door for the time being by Giving Something Back. Last weekend I sent a sizable chunk of change to the local Center for Food Action so families in need here in Bergen County could get the fixings for a Thanksgiving dinner, and I'm participating in my employer's gift tree, in which you take a tag off the tree in the lobby and buy the gift that's on the tag.

But if you're a card-carrying member of the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee, or you picked up a fabulous poufy quilted furry throw for your drafty living room and find yourself turning up the heat because the cats do so love the thing, you could do worse than use some of your holiday gelt to help out Eric and Jim, whose cats somehow miraculously survived the destruction of their home in the California wildfires, but have also incurred astronomical vet bills.

Around the Blogroll and Elsewhere

It's getting harder to keep this thing up every day. Between the learning curve of a new job, a longer drive each way, and ZERO online time at work (at least till I get my act together and activate that lovely Treo that Melina was kind enough to give me, and even that won't be a panacea because of my daily lunchtime constitutional, which is mandatory since I no longer have time for my morning walks during the week), carving out blog time is becoming a "Calgon, take me away!" moment. This of course also means that I haven't had the time to keep up with my fellow bloggren the way I should, so let's take a few minutes this morning and see what's on people's minds, shall we?

Before coming down with a wicked cold (and we all know how they suck, don't we? I've been getting over one for the last three weeks), Ornery Bastard weighed in on how Hunger in America isn't just for Appalachia anymore.

Driftglass consults science fiction to explain how it all went bad.

Sherry declares war on Consumer Christmas in the name of Spiritual Christmas (and thereby gives Billo apoplexy).

After having to abandon this post this morning until now, when I'm firmly ensconced on the couch watching Keith Olbermann experience the now-infamous Sarah Palin Turkey Killing Press Conference for the first time, and on a similar note, make pie with Martha Stewart, I've been lucky enough to have the always reliable but also always inexplicable Illudium Phosdex send us a link to this post by Howie Klein about how the dry drunk Captain Codpiece's imbibing of Peruvian pisco sours means that he's definitely on the sauce again. Seriously, though -- have you ever in your life seen a situation like this, in which the guy not in power yet seems to be running the show while the guy who's supposedly still running the show until noon on January 20 is off getting shit-faced plastered? And can we please remember this the next time Joe Scarborough starts talking about another Republican lightweight being the best candidate because he's a regular guy you'd like to have a beer with?

PhysioProf has yet another dispatch from the Burn Tara to the Ground File. (Can't C-Plus Caligula just decide to quit and leave in a huff? Do we really have to watch him throw an eight-week-long tantrum on his way out the door?)

The next time your wingnut friends talk about how George W. Bush has kept us safe from the terrorists, send them over to this Blue Girl post, which puts the reality of 47 million uninsured Americans into horrifying perspective.

Can't we just call it "Jackie Robinson Stadium" now and avoid the whole "Shitty Field" bad jokes? I mean, I'm a Mets fan and all, but I really don't think naming rights to the new Mets ballpark is the best use of a taxpayer-funded bailout.

DCap remembers November 22, 1963.

That's it for now, folks. Gotta go get my beauty sleep, and at my age, that's one hell of a lot of sleep.