The Golden Boobs Awards: A postmortem

After decades of being the film equivalent of the Grammy Awards in terms of credibility, the Golden Globes have become the Oscars' more fun cousin -- now with added liquor and snark.

And now, the Golden Boob Awards for most memorable presence at the Golden Globes:

The How Does She Do It Award: Barbara Hershey, for being over 20 years older than Naveen Andrews and not looking it one bit.

The Billy Crystal Memorial Never Again Award: Chris Rock, for showing the Oscar folks why not to have him hoast again.

Hottest. Director. Ever: Joe Wright.

The Too Much Botox Award: Clint Eastwood. Runner-up: Harrison Ford.

Cutest Couple: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe (still)

The "You Mean He's Got A Pulse?" Award: The aforementioned Ryan Phillippe.

The Behaving With Class While Sitting In the Cheap Seats Award: The cast of Lost

The I Have Narrow Shoulders, What's Your Excuse Award: Gwyneth Paltrow, whose right bra strap was clearly visible while she stood on the podium

The Cleans Up Nicely Award: Keira Knightley, who traded her love child of Kate Winslet and Billie Joe Armstrong punk look for something absolutely spectacular.

The What Was Her Stylist Thinking Award: Rachel Weisz. 'nuff said.

Best Completely Gratuitous Off-Color Jack Abramoff Joke: George Clooney

The "I Wuz Robbed" Award: (tie) Gustavo Santaolalla for the score to Brokeback Mountain, and Michelle Williams, for the same film.

Best Speech Ghost-Written By An Incredibly Hot Non-Show Business Wife: Steve Carell

The Amazingly Talented Couple That Looks Like Normal People Award: William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman

The Actor You'd Most Want To Know In Real Life Award: Sandra Oh.

The Wishing They Were Anyplace Else Award: (tie) Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Joaquin Phoenix.

The Not Even Being a Hot Aussie Can Offset An Unfortunate Resemblance to Corey Feldman Award: Eric Bana.

The Never Piss Off the Jews Award: to Munich, which for my money just barely edges out Brokeback Mountain as best film of the year, and seems to be royally being snubbed this year.