That's it. I'm going back to bed.

Just when you think that the Christofascist Zombie Brigade (^TM Marc Maron) can't get any more fucked up about women and sex, they come up with this:

For her 17th wedding anniversary, Jeanette Yarborough wanted to do something special for her husband. In addition to planning a hotel getaway for the weekend, Ms. Yarborough paid a surgeon $5,000 to reattach her hymen, making her appear to be a virgin again.

"It's the ultimate gift for the man who has everything," says Ms. Yarborough, 40 years old, a medical assistant from San Antonio.

Hymenoplasty, a controversial medical procedure known mostly for its prevalence in the Middle East and Latin America, is becoming popular in the U.S. Although there are no hard data, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons says vaginal surgery, including hymenoplasty, is one of the industry's fastest-growing segments. Gynecologists are marketing hymenoplasty in magazines, local newspapers and online. They report business is booming.

Restoring innocence this way has sparked criticism. Religious groups that value abstinence until marriage say hymen repair is a deception. Some feminists liken hymenoplasty to female genital mutilation. In addition, hymen repair, unlike other types of reconstructive surgery, isn't taught in medical residencies. Some medical associations worry that surgeons might be improperly trained.

"Revirgination" costs as little as $1,800 at Ridgewood Health and Beauty Center, a spa and cosmetic-surgery center in the New York City borough of Queens. To promote the procedure, the center's owner, Cuban-born Esmeralda Vanegas, has given away hymenoplasties on a Spanish-language radio station. She also promotes them in her eponymous magazine, Esmeralda.

Ms. Vanegas isn't a doctor and doesn't perform the procedure. Instead, she leases space to five plastic surgeons. Luis Palma, a doctor at Ridgewood, went to medical school in his native Argentina and was a resident at the Berkshire Medical Center in Pittsfield, Mass., among other places. Dr. Palma says he performs about five hymen repairs a month at Ridgewood, almost double the number of five years ago.

Ms. Vanegas says many of her patients risk disgracing their families if they're not virgins on their wedding night. Many are Latin American immigrants. "Losing your virginity is like losing a member of your family," Ms. Vanegas says. "We can make it seem like nothing ever happened."

Marco Pelosi II, an obstetrician and gynecologist in Bayonne, N.J., has been performing hymen repair since 1975 but started marketing the procedure only a year and a half ago. He now performs up to 10 repairs a month, compared with just two annually a decade ago.

"No one used to talk about it, but that's changing," Dr. Pelosi says. "Really, it's not like a heart transplant -- it's like a very simple procedure."

Dr. Pelosi says an increasing number of patients are trying to "improve their sex lives" by combining hymen repair with an operation to tighten their vaginas. He says one patient did it to surprise her husband on a second-honeymoon cruise. Another patient, a 51-year-old Manhattan attorney and mother of three, had him reattach her hymen and tighten her vaginal walls in 2003. "I thought it would add that extra sparkle to our marriage," says the woman.

Named after Hymen, the Greek god of marriage, the vaginal membrane has since primitive times been a marker of virginity, even though it can be ruptured by nonsexual activity, such as athletics. At one time, a bride's intact hymen was considered the only way to be certain about the paternity of any ensuing children. A small number of traditional cultures still require brides' hymens to be examined.

Hymen repair has just as long a history, says June Reinisch, director emeritus at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Bloomington, Ind. Ms. Reinisch says midwives used to disguise a broken hymen with a needle and thread, sometimes using membrane material from goats and other animals.

The modern version of hymenoplasty requires a local anesthetic and no hospitalization. A doctor uses dissolvable stitches to reconnect the skin membrane that once partially covered the opening to the vagina. Intercourse will tear the membrane causing pain and bleeding.

Recovery from surgery takes about six weeks. The risk of fever and infection is low, says V. Leroy Young, a St. Louis plastic surgeon who also heads the American Society of Plastic Surgeons' emerging-trends task force.

On the other hand, Dr. Young says, "it's a pretty expensive thing to do for one night."

Isn't this fundamentalist Christianity in a nutshell? It's got everything -- warped religious thinking, loathing of female sexuality, pointless cosmetic surgery available only to the wealthy, and hypocrisy, all wrapped into one nice little package.

You're the punchboard of your school? No problem! Just have some surgery, and bingo! You're a virgin again! Boyfriend can't handle that you've had more partners than he has? No problem! A couple of grand, and you're a virgin again!

As far as I'm concerned, any guy who is SO insecure about his own abilities that he's still, in this day and age, hung up on virgins, is in need of some good therapy.