The boozy faux-liberal Christopher Hitchens has been the man I've most loved to hate of late, because of his tenacious insistence that the Iraq War is some kind of noble cause.
However, he may be rethinking his bedfellows these days, as evidenced by the following extraordinary exchange on Joe Scarborough's Jeeb-o-rama (emphases mine):
But right now, I want to bring in Christopher Hitchens. He's a writer for “Vanity Fair.” And from Lynchburg, Virginia, let's talk to Mat Staver. He's the president of the Liberty Counsel, which started the Friend or Foe Christmas Campaign.
Christopher, I want to start with you.
I guess whenever these issues come up, my question always is, what is the big deal? If Newport News wants to have a Christmas tree, or Pensacola, Florida, wants to have a manger in front of city hall, who does that harm?
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS, “VANITY FAIR”: Who does it harm if they call it tree of illumination?
I mean, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without this argument. And I have to say, I congratulate you on finding a Mr. Sage for a Yuletide touch.
But he is dead wrong in the main thing he said, which is that this is our how our country was founded. As he ought to know, the country was founded on a document that specifically separates church from state.
SCARBOROUGH: What document is that, Christopher?
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: That's the United States Constitution.
SCARBOROUGH: Separates church and state. Where does it say that in the Constitution?
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: Very particularly in its first—very particularly, in its rather brilliantly and beautifully and clearly written First Amendment.
Now, in Lynchburg....
SCARBOROUGH: Is it?
HITCHENS: ... as in Washington, D.C., there are large numbers of public buildings, lavishly financed, usually, in fact, invariably, tax exempt, sometimes even government subsidized by the—what do we call it, faith-based program.
They are called churches. People can go there if they want to have religious ceremony. They can put up hoardings on their land which say it's Jesus' birthday or Christ has risen, if it's Easter, anything like that. You can't stop them. They do it all the time, and they are very welcome.
I would like, however, to be able to go to Union Station and not be told that I am a Christian over the loud speaker all the time, or, indeed, to Wal-Mart or Target or 7/Eleven and not have an incessant one-party state month of permanent Christian music and propaganda. I think that's annoying and offensive, and also...
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: But, Christopher, though, there's a long history...
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Hold on a second.
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: I promise only one thing. I promise you, I would say that if I was a Christian. I am not. But if I was one, I would not want it imposed on other people.
SCARBOROUGH: Well, OK. Well, and, again, it's been imposed...
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: And certainly not in this ugly—not in this ugly, vulgar, boring way?
SCARBOROUGH: It's ugly? What is ugly and vulgar and boring, Christmas trees?
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: Don't you find the tinsel and the incessant stuff on the radio and the TV, don't you find it gets you down? Don't you find it's cheap and tinselly? I certainly do.
SCARBOROUGH: Well, you know what?
If it's cheap, that cheapness has been a part of American culture for 200 years. You talk about the separation of church and state.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: I want to read you a couple of quotes.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Hold on a second. Hold on, Christopher. I will let you respond, but let me talk.
Here you have, in April 1787, Benjamin Franklin talking to the Constitutional Congress, saying: “I have lived a long time, sir, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this, that God governs in the affairs of man, and, if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, how can a great empire rise without his aid? The father of our country,” he said, “of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports.”
I could read you 100 quotes...
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: Yes, you could.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: ... of founding fathers talking about the importance of religion and...
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: There is not a word about Christianity in the...
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: I could get you quotes, though, from these founding fathers that did talk about Christianity.
HITCHENS: George Washington...
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: George Washington was a deist. Benjamin Franklin, whatever he felt obliged to say in public, was a nonbeliever.
(CROSSTALK)
MATHEW STAVER, PRESIDENT, LIBERTY COUNSEL: The problem that we have during Christmas, Joe...
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Hold on.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Mat, we are falling back on the deist argument. That happens an awful lot.
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: Not one word about Christianity in the founding documents, not one word.
(CROSSTALK)
STAVER: Joe, this is exactly the reason why we have this problem during Christmas. There is a war on Christmas.
Liberty Counsel represents Nathan Sage. And we are working with him to try to....
HITCHENS: Represents Jerry Falwell, you mean.
(CROSSTALK)
STAVER: ... reverse this ridiculous thing in Newport News, Virginia.
In Newport News, Virginia, they celebrate everything. They have got Santa Clauses. They have got the poinsettias. They have the snowmen. They even have what appears to everyone who looks at this a Christmas tree, a triangle looking tree that is decorated, but, lo and behold, because it has the name Christmas attached to it, even though it's otherwise a secular symbol, they have a bias to censor that out and change it to the tree of celebration.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Mat, you know—hold on a second, Mat.
Let's bring a little light to this, instead of all heat. Let's bring a little light to this conversation and talk about trends.
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: Light only comes from heat.
SCARBOROUGH: OK. Thank you so much.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Christopher.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Hold on.
Guys, stop. God bless us all. Just stop and let's have a meaningful conversation.
HITCHENS: Well, don't invite me on and tell me to keep...
SCARBOROUGH: Instead of people talking on top of each other.
HITCHENS: Don't invite me on and tell me to keep quiet. Don't do that.
SCARBOROUGH: Well, Christopher, why don't you let other people talk for a second, OK?
HITCHENS: I came here to talk, not to listen to you. You invited me on for my opinions, not to listen to yours.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: OK. Well, you know what, Christopher? I will never make that mistake again.
HITCHENS: Fair enough.
SCARBOROUGH: Mat, here's—here's the question, OK?
HITCHENS: Merry Christmas.
SCARBOROUGH: Merry Christmas and good night.
Mat, let's have a conversation here for a second.
STAVER: Thank you.
SCARBOROUGH: You are sitting here talking, and other Christians have been complaining about how there's been a war on Christmas for a long time.
But you have got to admit, there has been progress made. If you look at Macy's, if you look at Lowe's, if you look at what happens, like the city of Boston, if you look at the U.S. Congress...
STAVER: Exactly.
SCARBOROUGH: ... they are starting to bring the word Christmas back in these celebrations.
Now, for me personally, this doesn't really mean a whole lot. But, at the same time, it bugs me when people are so politically correct that they want to take the word Christ out of Christmas.
HITCHENS: It's not a matter...
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: So, will you admit that things are improving?
STAVER: Oh, no question. They are improving.
But they are improving because people are speaking up, because they are tired of this onslaught against Christmas. They are tired of the trend of the ACLU and others that espouse the views like Christopher that simply want to eliminate God and religion from the public square. And I think it is symbolic of what's happened to take a Christmas tree and rename it to something other than a Christmas tree.
Now, Boston, I applaud them, because, tonight, they lit not a holiday tree, which they intended to do about a week ago, but a Christmas tree. And that's what the mayor says it will always be now, as long as he is mayor. And I applaud him. I applaud Speaker Dennis Hastert for doing the same thing.
That's why we launched our Friend or Foe Christmas Campaign. And our Web site at LC.org, we have a memo...
SCARBOROUGH: All right.
HITCHENS: So, this is just a broadcast for Jerry Falwell now...
(CROSSTALK)
STAVER: ... that talks about what the law is.
SCARBOROUGH: All right. All right. OK. Hold on. Let's...
(CROSSTALK)
HITCHENS: I am supposed to just sit.
SCARBOROUGH: OK, Christopher, go ahead.
HITCHENS: I am supposed to just sit and listen to a broadcast for Jerry Falwell from Lynchburg. Is that right?
SCARBOROUGH: Go ahead.
HITCHENS: OK?
SCARBOROUGH: Go ahead.
HITCHENS: The tree long predates Christmas.
There's been a festival of light, in fact, and of trees, Yule logs trees—that's where they're all from Scandinavia—since the winter solstice was first thought of, long before any mythical event in the Middle East, a birth that the date of which even the Bible cannot get right and repeatedly gets wrong.
That—that's fine. People can celebrate it all they like. It would be impossible to live in this country and not notice that there are lots of Christians who like to celebrate the birthday of the person they believe is their savior. You cannot possibly escape it. But we don't want it to enjoy any public preference or subsidy.
And the Constitution says that we don't have to. And the progress you are talking about with this guy from Lynchburg...
SCARBOROUGH: But it doesn't say that, Christopher.
HITCHENS: This guy from Lynchburg defines progress as teaching junk science to our children, and leaving us the mockery of the world by pretending that we did not evolve.
(CROSSTALK)
SCARBOROUGH: Hold on a second.
We are not going to debate intelligent—we are not going to debate intelligent design right here, but, Christopher...
HITCHENS: That's progress to him. And he's a front man—and he's a front man—and he's a front man—and he's a front man for the fat-faced reverend...
SCARBOROUGH: OK, Christopher. Hold on.
(CROSSTALK)
STAVER: Joe, I think Christopher is really...
HITCHENS: ... who applauded the destruction of the World Trade Center.
SCARBOROUGH: OK. OK. You know what? You know what?
HITCHENS: Front man Falwell.
SCARBOROUGH: We—this, unfortunately, is—is now moving into intelligent design.
HITCHENS: Falwell said the World Trade Center was brought down by God.
SCARBOROUGH: I want to thank you for being with us, Christopher.
Game, set, and match to Hitchens. Sure, I wish he'd come prepared with some nice quotes about the Founding Fathers NOT trying to set this up as a Christian nation, but OK. He did get in a bit about the pagan origins of Christmas trees and the other symbols that the Christofascist Zombie Brigade seem to think have something to do with Jesus, and he did get Scarborough to look completely moronic by saying that the cheapness and tawdriness of American Christmas has been with us for 200 years (which it hasn't). And the stuff about Falwell is priceless.
As I've posted before, I'm all for making Christmas a Christian holiday again. That means we pagans take our symbols back and return them to their origins. Christians can have their nativity, their creche, they can even have Handel's Messiah. But no more gifts, no more choruses of Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, no more awful Old Navy ads with Morgan Fairchild in a skimpy Santa outfit, no more rampant consumerism. Just good, Christian families celebrating the birth of their Messiah in their churches and homes.
Meanwhile, we pagans will decorate our trees, kiss under the mistletoe, and drink the eggnog and celebrate that we've turned the corner on winter.
I'd take that deal in a heartbeat. How about you?
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