Vern watch

Hoo-frickin-ray! Vern at last weighs in with his thoughts on last week's national debacle:

It's like when you're sitting at a bar (not me, I don't drink anymore) and you're making small talk with the guy next to you, somebody you never met before. And you're having a good conversation, then all the sudden the guy throws in some joke about jews or koreans or something, maybe uses the N word, talking real loud. And everybody thinks this guy's your buddy, so you get real uncomfortable and try to either end the conversation or talk loudly about how great it is to meet the guy for the very first time ever. That's what these Americans are doing. Guilting us by association. Thanks alot, assholes.



[snip]



You know what it feels like? It feels like they came up with some new science to miraculously revive JFK. But then they just shot him in the head again. They tossed him in a shallow grave somewhere along highway 99, took a piss on it, maybe marked it with a crushed Taco Bell cup. Then they laughed at us and snorted, "God bless America" with that shiteating ratfucker grin that Bush has been known and despised for since he was in college.



[note from me: Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like...]



I wasn't faking it. I really believed it. I thought we were gonna be able to have the Ewok celebration, with the dancing and drumming on helmets and shooting off fireworks. Ding dong, the witch is dead, etc. But they special edded this one up. Now the Ewoks mount their log and rock offensive, but they are no match for the machines. The stormtroopers just crush them, massacre them, burn their villages and sell their babies into slavery. Luke is paid off, moves in with Darth Vader and the rebels are all executed. The end.





We're talking about a president who has had below 50% approval ratings for months. Polls show that the majority of Americans now think the Iraq invasion was a mistake and that we are losing the war. 55% think our country is going in "the wrong direction." Bush clearly lost all 3 debates and seemed to get increasingly confused and irritable as the campaign went on. He even yelled at the moderator in debate #2 and had goo on one side of his mouth for #3. Nothing has been going well at all. Iraq has been getting worse and worse (there will be a major bloodbath in Fallujah any day now, now that everybody's voted), the economy and job levels are terrible, Cheney's company is under investigation by the FBI, Osama bin Laden just showed up on TV to remind us that Bush let him go. (No comment from the forgotten anthrax terrorist.) Kerry was pulling ahead in pretty much all of the polls for the week before the election. And even on election day he was winning all of the swing states in the exit polls.

Oh, the hell with it. Just go read it. Then e-mail Vern and tell him just how damn fine a writer he is. He likes when you do that. Just don't sound like an idiot or a groupie when you do it, OK?