Oh God Please Make It Stop

For the most part I've been able to avoid much of the Holiday That Has Supplanted Even Christmas in the minds of the American right, and that is the birthday of Saint Ronnie of Jesus. Our very own jurassicpork brought up a very nice hairball on that front the other day, and there's not much that I can add to that. And while I enjoy watching people who never met Ronald Reagan insist that they know him far better than the pleasant liberal man who, like, actually GREW UP IN THE SAME HOUSE WHERE SAINT RONNIE LIVED as much as the next cynic, there's just too much of Today wrapped up in the paeans to Yesterday, and too much of the aging high school mean girl that is Sarah Palin insisting that Ronnie the Great's leadeship was just like hers -- sniping about others without accomplishing much of anything oneself, or even having a plan after high school when the looks start to go, to pay much attention.

But one of our favorite, if more famous than we are (though he links to B@B even though he's somewhat of an A-lister) bloggers, the always hilarious TBogg, led us to this little gem of Ronniephilia from Idiot Son of an Asshole Ben Quayle:

When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House.

I didn’t know then, but I know it now: The jelly beans were much more than a sweet treat that he gave out as gifts. They represented the uniqueness and greatness of America — each one different and special in its own way, but collectively they blended in harmony.

[snip]

Happy birthday, Mr. President. We will strive to continue your vision and keep our shining city on the hill as bright as you envisioned.

What most people didn't realize then, and still don't realize, is that the shining city on the hill was a gated community of mansions into which only the wealthiest Americans were allowed. And you can rely on Ben Quayle to work his damnedest to keep it that way.

And I'd be willing to wager that Ben always threw away the black jelly beans -- if they weren't all thrown away before the jar was even allowed into St. Ronnie's office.