Can we please stop saying "He/she will be missed" when a famous person dies? As I plowed through the many tributes to Leslie Nielsen lately, I found comment after comment that ended with "He will be missed." People who fell in love with Nielsen in Tammy and the Bachelor. People whose first experience spitting Coca-cola out of their noses was watching Nielsen say "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." People who could quote entire episodes of Police Squad. Every last one of them, ending with "He will be missed." What does that even MEAN? Is it an exhortation to others to miss Leslie Nielsen? A distancing device? Why can't you say, "I'll miss him. I'll miss the laughs he brought ME"? Stop the passive voice already!
It's like those damned "Support the Troops" ribbon magnets that you still see (though fewer than you did when the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces wasn't a foreign-born usurper, or if he was born on U.S. soil his father wasn't which makes him not a citizen and OMG a black man is president). It always bugged me when people in the biggest, baddest, eight-mile-a-gallon Hummers and Escalades and Excursions would slap these things on their cars while pumping twenty gallons of refined Saudi petroleum into them three times a week. Who the hell were these people to order ME to support the troops; me in my thrifty gas-sipping Honda Civic? Why did they never proclaim proudly, "I support the troops"? Why order others around?
OK, I'm done. This ends my Peter Griffin moment.
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