jeudi 30 décembre 2010

What Sarah Palin fans eat

With Sarah Palin having declared vegetables as traitors to America and s'mores as the food of choice for Real Muricans Lovin' Faith Family 'n' Flag, let's take a look at the favorite new state fair foods of Snowflake Snooki's constituency (no blockquote tags because of commentary; the source is linked above):

10. Hash Brown Hot Dog – San Diego County Fair. This is ground-up gore, guts, and animal parts wrapped in shredded potatoes and deep-fat fried.

9. Deep-Fried Cheddar-Bacon Mashed Potatoes…On a Stick – Minnesota State Fair. Because regular mashed potatoes with their butter and cream just don't have quite enough saturated fat.

8. Garbage Burger – Indiana State Fair. It's a pork patty topped with pulled pork, but perhaps the nickname is more fitting.

7. Deep-Fried Frito Pie – Texas State Fair. As near as I can tell, this is batter-dipped chili-topped corn chips.

6. Deep Fried Klondike Bar – San Diego State Fair. Because all the palm kernel oil used to make the chocolate coating just doesn't coat your arteries enough all by itself.

5. Chocolate Tornado Potato – Minnesota State Fair. Now you know what to do with that spiral-cutter from Telebrands that you got for Christmas. Spiral-cut a potato, deep-fry it, then dip it in chocolate.

4. Deep-Fried Cheesesteak on a Stick – Wisconsin State Fair. Now OK, I admit to having tried the Bananas Foster bites at Wing Zone, which is probably sort of what I imagine deep-fried cheesecake tastes like. What? That's "cheesesteak"?

Never mind.

3. Sweet Potato Dog – San Diego County Fair. See #10, but because this is California and they watch their white carbs, substitute sweet potato for hash browns. It's Beta-Carotineeylicious!

2. Corn Dog Pizza – Minnesota State Fair. This HAS to be from Michele Bachmann's district. Just please tell me Franken doesn't eat this.

1. Fried Beer – Texas State Fair. If you've ever fantasized during halftime about how you could combine your beer and fried ravioli, this snack's for you. It combines the comfort of a pastry pocket with the all-American goodness of beer.

I guess fried butter didn't make the list because it's from 2009.

Now what was that about Texas' Medicaid expenses?

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