If Stephen Colbert did not exist, we would have to invent him

Quote of the day runner-up, Superstantial Truthiness Division:

It's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a failure. -- Bush Administration Homeland Security Adviser Fran Townsend, referring to the as-yet-uncaptured Osama Bin Laden on The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, 12/28/06

(hat tip: Hoffmania)