Then stay home. Call grandma and tell her she'll have to live without you this year. Because once you enter the TSA Twilight Zone, you enter an existential nightmare from which there is no escape:
If you don't want to pass through an airport scanner that allows security agents to see an image of your naked body or to undergo the alternative, a thorough manual search, you may have to find another way to travel this holiday season.
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is warning that any would-be commercial airline passenger who enters an airport checkpoint and then refuses to undergo the method of inspection designated by TSA will not be allowed to fly and also will not be permitted to simply leave the airport.
That person will have to remain on the premises to be questioned by the TSA and possibly by local law enforcement. Anyone refusing faces fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest.
"Once a person submits to the screening process, they can not just decide to leave that process," says Sari Koshetz, regional TSA spokesperson, based in Miami.
Koshetz said such passengers would be questioned "until it is determined that they don't pose a threat" to the public.
Palm Beach Sheriff's Office spokesperson Teri Barbera said PBSO deputies stationed at the airport would become involved when requested by the TSA.
By the way, I don't for one minute believe that flacks from private companies will make this any less humiliating, or any less of a violation of the 4th Amendment. Private companies are no hedge against government-sanctioned sexual assault.